a few decades on might have been a different story, but losing a soul mate on the ascendant is not something i would wish on anyone else :(
I'm really sorry to hear that. What you're describing is rare enough but to have it all taken away... Is the old adage true about it's better to have love and lost? Or is that basically bullshit?
that's impossible to answer with any certainty
i expect that perhaps time dulls the sparkle of all things, but then i have had elderly couples as patients where it is quite obvious they are still very much in love, in a sedate but sincere way, after well over half a century together
there's the magic of having been there, and the indelible memory of shared experience which is so precious to have, and then there's the shittiness of persistently remembering how much you don't have it any more, even though i am constantly sharing the events of the rest of my life with her memory as if she is still there, because i am well aware of what her response would have been to nearly all of them, and it somehow feels that realisation keeps her alive, in my thoughts
it's a bitter-sweet joy to love a memory
i still recall quite clearly my best effort to describe the feeling when she died, which was "like the earth opened up and swallowed half of me"
i quite truly believe that all people are like a ripple in the universe, and sometimes that disturbance is so in synch that it creates resonance that persists like a standing wave, for a very long time, possibly longer than our personal existence
there is one other person with whom i share such a certain telepathic ability that it would be dismissed as delusional by formal assessment... and interestingly the common ingredient is a degree of love that transcends being together... she's not so much one that got away, but more one that never got together
and the luck of hitting that sweet spot twice in a lifetime is already beyond the good fortune many people seem to hit in a life time