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Showing content with the highest reputation since 18/05/19 in all areas

  1. 5 points
    Curly went hunting one day up in The Northern Territory' and bagged three ducks. He put them in the back of his Ute and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a surly Territory game warden who didn't like smart alecs. The warden ordered Curly to show his hunting license, so Curly pulled out a valid Northern Territory license.. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its bum and said, "This duck ain't from The Territory. This is a Queensland duck. You got a Queensland huntin' license?" Curly reached into his wallet and produced a Queensland license. The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its bum, and said "This ain't a Queensland duck. This duck's from West Australia. You got a West Australian license?" Curly reached into his wallet and produced a West Australian hunting license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, Sniffed its bum, and said, "This ain't a Western Australian duck. This duck's from South Australia. You got a South Australian Huntin license?" Again Curly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Australian license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at Curly "just where the hell are you from?" Curly smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, "You tell me, you're the expert...
  2. 3 points
    He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk
  3. 3 points
    You reckon Anning’s mum would’ve voted for him?
  4. 3 points
    first dog nails it yet again i agree with other analysis that too much detail of potential change loses a winnable election, just like john hewson's "fightback" self goal; even dutton quoted "this is the sweetest victory of them all" with a nod to keating, and probably identified the similarity never underestimate the attraction of greed and "safety" over benefits to an entire nation my guess is that when the global recession hits any time soon, the libs will be unhappy that it's not possible to complain that "it's all labor's fault" not saying that the labor team would have any more hope of averting world financial disaster, but for the less privileged waiting for something to trickle down, it's unlikely they'll get anything that hasn't been filtered through wealthy kidneys hey! a little more time to fuck things up will make the prospect of a labor government with a suitably charismatic leader with no disturbingly fair policies a shoo in for the next democratic sausage fest
  5. 2 points
    Nothing more crazy than a 56k modem which only ran at 6kps maximum because the copper in the street was pair gained and went down when it rained.
  6. 2 points
  7. 2 points
    Yep, the standard continues to fall, almost everywhere more or less. Per se
  8. 2 points
    my guess is he doesn't want a cremation
  9. 2 points
    If it actually happens in this timeframe it'd be really nice but I sorta doubt it...
  10. 2 points
    I'm not going to go into it; my preferences are mine. The tldr of my feelings are that with Liberal holding hands with Palmer, and the horrible leadership spill after leadership spill. AND the religious ideals in one of the least religious countries. AAANNNNDDD the hating of people marrying whom they love.... I'm Genuinely surprised Liberal got back in. Not because of what they stand for as a party, but because of who represents them.
  11. 2 points
    Even bigger Palmer laff - Jaquie Lambie (Senate ind, Tas) might just scrape over the line, and if she does it'll likely be on Palmer Senate preferences which means his entire spend of $80 million would have been not for nothing but for her benefit.
  12. 2 points
    I'll give you a small piece of advice. If you don't even know what sexuality is, no-one is going to really take your 'opinions' seriously on it.
  13. 2 points
    Why am I not surprised that DMB would vote for actual white supremacists, only a language and location away from being literal Nazis.
  14. 2 points
    Heard ? yes, zillions of times I've heard lots of stuff that I've not the slightest clue of who is responsible for it . Same with books, there's no way in hell I just will recall the name or author ... or at least the tiniest percentage anyway
  15. 2 points
    well bestiality and necrophilia ... mmm you never going to get consent from the former and the latter are dead. I'd say those committing those acts are in need of help and guidance perhaps. A couple married / or not have sex with no actual payment crossing their palms ... a prostitute has sex and payment is paid. Both experiences leave someone fulfilled and ready to carry on their life ... that's quite fine by me
  16. 1 point
    So quiet here, does it matter much? If I was to make a suggestion for change, it'd be to downsize the number of forums back to like it was originally, like about 8 or so.
  17. 1 point
    i) the vision of Sir Henry Parkes of Australia as an English speaking, predominantly European Christian Commonwealth, as originally described in 1901 when Australia as a nation was founded; Sounds an awful lot like he intends to either coerce/force people to have a certain set of beliefs, or leave. How is that NOT forcing belief? I'm non-religious (you might say atheist), and Leonid is Jewish. We are not welcome in Anning's vision of Australia. A world where Jews aren't welcome, LITERALLY NAZI GERMANY. iii) traditional family values, including recognising marriage as only the union of a man and a woman and the sanctity of human life at all ages, including both the unborn and the elderly; Enforcing with the power of law that same-sex couples have less/no rights, and a specific dogmatic view on unborn foetuses. That isn't freedom of belief. Edit: And if that's not enough, there's also Anning's repeated use of the phrase "final solution" in his infamous speech to parliament.
  18. 1 point
    Words are important here. Taxable INCOME is way different to a GIFT. I can be gifted $50,000.00 by a relative. Tax free. It's not income. Making a profit on shares is income and therefore taxable. That's the way I understand it, but fuck me I'm not an accountant - every time I try to be one and decipher the walls of text on the ATO website, I just want to cry.
  19. 1 point
    are you implying i'm a labor supporter ? hahahaha... i'm a critic for all the players, with less scorn for some of their well meaning uselessness than the malevolent self interest of the rich people's party delivering a good bottom line to a scorched planet isn't progress, it's retarded and no, i don't think it's just about the putative anthropogenic input to global warming... i tend to think rampant expansion is as helpful to our future as my expanding spleen was to my health... oft times i think the self professed "financial managers" need chemo more than i did
  20. 1 point
    Sounds good. Oh, except.... Freedom of belief, as long as your beliefs are Fraser Anning's beliefs. So he's a hypocritical Nazi. Right up your alley then, DMB. Thank god he won zero seats in either house.
  21. 1 point
    Same. I had one pulled that didn't come out cleanly; high-dose codeine tabs issued before the shot even wore off... I took *one* (of the recommended two) on the first morning. Partly, I'm just plain stubborn and won't admit it's getting the better of me. Partly, it's because I seem to have a limit beyond which I just stop feeling it - well, so far, anyway. I reset my broken pinky, taped it up, and ignored it for a while - then remembered I'm allergic to the tape adhesive when half my hand went red. The itching drove me nuts.
  22. 1 point
    Except Abbott and Turnbull and possibly Morrison all won from it. Dutton certainly did.
  23. 1 point
    youre out Tony. youre fucking out! good riddance. get fucked.
  24. 1 point
    Actually I know personally of a very considerable number of miscarriages, of course it is upsetting but it happens and much more frequently than people realise. Most commonly in the very early stages of pregnancy but not always. My wife lost twins at somewhere around five months, my own mother lost a baby before me. In both cases they went on to have children, in my mother's case a total of five. My second daughter could easily have miscarried, in fact we did think we would lose her but she was and is made of tougher stuff than that. Great news on Walt Ev, Cheers
  25. 1 point
    Okaaaaaay http://imgur.com/u2YqvQn
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