Enjoyed every scene, as well have having seen it before ^_^
The Brits really know how to do humor.
In return, delicious copy pasta:
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go out with your
friends and meet new female acquaintances to add to your repertoire of
Of course, by the end of the night, you are a few hundred dollars
poorer, you've accelerated your own liver failure (from all the alcohol
you drank), your lungs are a shade darker, and you still didn't get to
escort that beautiful woman back to her place (you didn't even get her
number). It's another familiar failed Saturday night.
Maybe it's time to reconsider your whole pickup strategy. If it hasn't
worked for you and your friends in the past, then it's time to try a new
strategy: The Player's Strategy.
In general, most men fail to meet women for 2 reasons: the first problem
is that they travel in packs but go on the hunt solo. What do I mean by
this? When it concerns meeting women, men tend to separate from the
squadron to wander helplessly towards the female pack, only to hit a
wall and be shot down and humiliated.
The second factor that adds to the squadron failure is the pathetic
expectation that "if I stand around long enough, maybe something will
happen." Most men will sit or stand around all night holding a beer, and
watch women dance without doing anything. At the end of the night,
they're disappointed because they did not meet any women.
Of course not. In order to meet women, you have to approach them and
start a conversation. If you can't talk because the music is too loud,
then invite them to dance with you.
The only way to actually meet women in nightclubs is to follow the ways
of jet fighter pilots. Men have to learn to fight in squadrons. By
sticking together, we increase our chances of having a Successful Pickup
Saturday Night (SPSN).
SOCIAL GROUP STRUCTURE
Look into the eyes of a pilot. In his stare you will see, among other
things, great intelligence. It is precisely this intelligence that makes
the fighter a great pilot. When pilots fight, the members of the squad
gather together. Survival depends on cooperation. Each member works to
care for, defend and protect his fellow members.
This is the same attitude that men must adopt. By working together, we
can accomplish a lot more than if we continue to hunt solitarily. In
order to achieve these goals, there are specific roles that one must
take on. When hunting, you have to prepare yourself according to 3 main
roles: the Kamikaze Pilot, the Wing Commander and the Wingman.
THE KAMIKAZE PILOT
The Kamikaze Pilot has a girlfriend, is engaged or is already married.
His main duty is to initiate the "seek-and-attract" plan. Because he is
already dating, he won't care if he gets shot down. He will also convey
more confidence, and women will be more attracted to him.
These people have nothing to lose. To them, flying kamikaze is "just
talking." The key here is having them save the "I have a
wife/girlfriend" part for the end of the conversation.
THE WING COMMANDER
The Wing Commander engages the primary target. Anyone can be a Wing
Commander. In order to become one, you simply have to spot a woman that
you are interested in and get the squadron ready for action.
The Wingmen serve as decoys; they take one for the team, engage the
secondary target, and jump on the grenade and generally keep someone
else occupied while the Wing Commander engages the primary target. The
best suited wingmen are:
Good-looking friends who don't know they're hot. But be careful, these
are the wingmen that can accidentally blow you right out of the sky.
Ugly friends are perfect for the mission. They are fun and cool but lost
the lottery on looks.
However, it is better to have no wingmen at all than bad wingmen. The
type of people that make bad wingmen are:
The drunk guys -- they will usually crash and burn, and nip your wings
on their way down. Instead of backing you up, they'll give all your
naughty secrets away.
The boring geeks -- There is nothing worse than having to turn around
and bail out your own wingmen.
THE OPPOSITE SEX
Attractive women seek out attractive female friends, but to make
themselves feel even more attractive, there is always one member of the
group that is not as hot. The hitch? The attractive members of the group
require that if men approach them, they have to find a match for the
least attractive friend as well. The following best describes the female
The Girl-goyle: The least attractive member of the female group. The
target that the Kamikaze Pilot seeks out and destroys.
The Primary Target: Usually the best-looking female of the group. She is
the one whom the Wing Commander seeks to "engage" in combat.
The Secondary Target: Known as "Bogeys," but also known as the "friend
that drove us here," the "we have to get up early" girl, the "we have to
leave now" girl, or finally, the "if you think you're going home with
her, you're sadly mistaken" girl. These girls range in beauty from hot
and sweet, to average looking. These Bogey Pilots are engaged by the
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
As I mentioned before, the first thing you have to do is be aggressive.
Don't just stand around and wait for something to happen because it
never will. As soon as you enter the dance club, you have to seek out
your primary target. Once you've located her, it's time to spring into
The first move you must make is to gather your squadron together.
Because you located your woman first, you become the Wing Commander. The
next step is for the Kamikaze Pilot to move in and start a conversation
with the Girl-goyle of the group. The purpose of this step is to
infiltrate and set up contact with the female group. If no Kamikaze
Pilot is available, then one of the Wingmen has to act as the Kamikaze
Pilot (chosen by drawing straws prior to entering the club).
Having the Kamikaze Pilot (single or married guy) talk to the least
attractive girl serves 2 purposes; the first is to eliminate her by
sacrificing himself to a conversation with her for the whole night (she
does not know that he is married or dating). The second purpose of
talking to the least attractive friend is so that the prettier friends
won't have to be so concerned with finding the Girl-goyle friend a
match. You see, most women avoid talking to men because they feel guilty
about leaving their least good-looking friend by themselves -- the
Kamikaze Pilot takes care of that.
Once the Kamikaze Pilot is properly introduced to the female group, it
is time for the Wing Commander to spring into action. His role is to
walk by the Kamikaze Pilot and let the Kamikaze Pilot introduce him to
the gang. The Kamikaze will first introduce the Wing Commander to the
primary target, and then to the other friends. After greeting all of the
friends, the Wing Commander shows his interest by talking back to the
The legendary Wingmen wait in the shadows of the club. They always
appear on cue and rarely fail at their assigned duties. The Wingmen move
once they observe that the secondary targets are showing signs of
impatience, or even try to interrupt the Wing Commander. The Wingmen's
job is to keep the secondary targets distracted.
Sometimes, the Wingmen have to take more than one secondary target at a
time. You can never predict how the mission will turn out. Sometimes the
Wingmen do better than the Wing Commander. Sometimes, the Wing Commander
gets shot down. Other times, your wingers get shot down and you have to
abort the mission because you blew your cover.
There is one important code that is followed by all members of the
squadron: If the Wing Commander panics and is too afraid to continue his
mission, then the fastest Wingman takes over as the Wing Commander. This
is done to keep the squadron alive by encouraging the Wing Commander to
fulfill his duties.
enjoy the moment
The next time you go out with your friends, change things around and
make things a little more fun. Instead of just standing around with a
beer in your hands, play a game and make the whole experience fun. But
remember: united we stand, divided we fall.