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About r00tk1ll

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  1. r00tk1ll

    I really love this song

    Sons of odin is a pretty good song indeed.
  2. Over here we just say ´Aussys are all shit.´
  3. r00tk1ll

    Who's still here from the olden days?

    is it me or is that just a computer program that makes you think its on the cup: http://www.urbandictionary.com/products.ph...mp;defid=525929 I cant find my old account/avatar. Deleted forever when I got banz0r1z3d methinks.
  4. r00tk1ll

    Who's still here from the olden days?

    me I remeber I used to post queer shit under tehcode.. That retard account won the ticks funnehz. I was a trollen hard back then. http://archive.atomicmpc.com.au/forums.asp...=16147&p=60 I was also sh33pfux0r lol check this shit out: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sh33pfux0r I loved ye olden forums. I had some good times talking smack and im pretty sure those weŕe the days I used to play tribes and that game was so awesomeo. Man I still remeber that 800mhz was fast and expensive and i had a voodoo 3 card and it was the shit. I had saved thousands on my $40.00 a week afterschool job to pay for my Windows Millenium system. Now I have a dualcore laptop running Fedora15 I paid a measly $200.00 for. Oh how things have changed! I also remeber Spamz0r or tom. But I dont know who that is now. I always used to irc donnaGEM too. Director always has talked to me but he never has known who I am like everybody else. I had to apologise to ben mansil once for starting so much shit on the forum and I felt bad about that but he was nice about it. Thats about all I can remeber about that ed: also was it phr33x that dressed up like a ninja? i remeber someone used to dress up like a ninja then post videos from their secret lair. That person was a superhero fo sur anyway...
  5. r00tk1ll

    I really love this song

    If youŕe a manowar fan then link me your favourite manowar song. R.I.P Scott Columbus I also really love this song
  6. r00tk1ll

    music to blow out your ears

    Old slayer yeah....I get enough of that during the weekdays. Algud, thanks for being nice to me
  7. r00tk1ll

    music to blow out your ears

  8. r00tk1ll

    music to blow out your ears

    This guy is the master.
  9. r00tk1ll

    The black dog

    Coping with depression is not an easy task. It takes will-power and support from good people that you trust. Most importantly you must choose to love yourself....again. Somewhere around five years ago I split up with my ex-girlfriend who I had been with a number of years. At the time I made some pretty stupid decisions that didn't help my situation at all and I slowly felt myself slipping into a black hole. It seemed the longer I thought about it the deeper I fell into this pit and so on. The long days turned into long weeks and the long weeks started to make months. Before I knew it I was too far away and I was so good at hiding it. I hid my depression from everybody my mum, my dad, my best friends wouldn't talk much to me at the time they just thought I was crazy and told me to get over it. I would sneak out to the toilet at work lock the door and sit against the wall crying for hours on end. No reason for crying I just hurt inside. I would do the same at home. I would just want to be alone and cry. I couldn't get over it there was only darkness. I couldn't understand why I was this way. I started to believe my friends who told me I was crazy....I now was at the point where it felt good to cut myself so I started doing that. Cuts we're nothing though. I'm a grown man and i've never ever thought that way and the honest truth is everybody that did that was a freak to me. When you feel that much pain of the emotional kind in the heart and you're me then you want the pain of cutting so you can feel something else other than just the tremendous weight that's on your heart. Soon cutting myself wasn't enough. I started thinking about suicide I started going on these crazy drives in my car in the middle of the night, looking for spots to do it. I did this consistently night after night and all I could think about was ways I could die. I attempted it once before this but a few friends had stopped me. Now I knew I was serious. Nobody really knew I was feeling this way, nobody really cared. So I can't really recall much because this is a really fucked up part of my life but what happened next is I woke up one day and decided, yes today is a good day to die. I just remember making that awful decision. I drove out to a spot that I actually hadn't thought about previously and took all the gear I needed with me. Drank a 24 pack of beer on the way. This will give me the balls I thought. I just wanted to end the pain forever. Got to the spot in my car. Attached the hose to the window with ducktape. Started the car. Sat in the car, kept drinking. Can't really remember how long I sat there but I do remember starting to doze off. Next minute I open my eyes because I can hear something. I started to close my eyes again but I could still hear this knocking.....I look to the window and there is a man standing there. I wound down the window and this foreign guy starts talking to me asking me what I am doing looking real concerned.... I was pretty angry that he was there and I was just hoping that he would mind his own business so I told him I was doing a experiment (yeah must of been the gas talking). I don't remember too much of the conversation apart from him and his Mrs we're from from the Czech republic. Anyway I ended up having to get out of the car because the guy and his Mrs got their van stuck. (It was a beach at the end of this long remote road). So I had a couple of minutes fresh air there, back into the car, continue gassing myself..... So I woke up again after dozing off. I guess Satan himself started talking to me right about that exact minute: All I can hear right now in my mind is "MOVE THE CAR" "MOVE THE CAR" "GO" "MOVE THE CAR" Instantly I came to life and started backing up from the spot I was in. I started speeding down the gravel road, all I could hear in my mind was this voice telling me to move the car and I was completely under the control of this voice. Thanks to some foreign people from the Czech republic who decided it was a good idea to ring the police, many police cars (including one undercover detective) we're speeding towards me. I never tried to run because for some reason I just didn't. So after that I spent almost 7 months locked up in a mental institution where I did lots of inner soul searching and met lots of people who had many different illnesses and mental health issues. Not really one person I met was the same as me but I got some good conversations with some patients whose wisdom I will never forget. You see normal everyday people don't necessary understand it because they haven't been through it. It makes it easy for them to judge, I know because I used to be one of them. Other people have really good empathy and they understand having not been through it. I was lucky that I met some good people who had empathy and I went to live with them once I got out. They helped me for the further year or so and I was lucky to have met them. I've taken alot of medication but end in end im glad to now be off the medication. The side effects are not good after prolonged use. I kept losing my memory alot and I would smoke a 30gram of tobacco in a day just because my energy felt so high and I had nothing to do but pace around and smoke. (Prozac/fluroxatene). So now so many years down the track, my life is much different. In fact I feel so much better than I did before. And when I say before im talking about before I suffered from depression. I see life much more clearly now. Life to me now is about every single day. Spending every single day how it was supposed to be spent. Not talking any life to the fullest crap but just mainly about being yourself and enjoying what you enjoy. Enjoying you're friends for one, most importantly having good friends. I have much different friends to the ones I did before and now that I look back all the friends I had we're selfish losers. The friends I have now love me. They are dudes and they tell me the love me all the time. You may think thats gay but I think its awesome because I love my friends too. Theres no penny that will drop in order for you to deal with depression. It's just something that takes time to work out and its a process that will enable you to grow as a person. I am a much stronger person then the one I used to be and my morals are much higher believe it or not. I can never think the way I used to think because we'll its just not possible. When you have depression you think its never going to end but it does! It ends and when it does you're going to love yourself more than you ever could think possible.
  10. r00tk1ll

    Awake (Not the 2007 film)

    I had chills up my spine the entire time I watched that.
  11. r00tk1ll

    What would you do in this situation?

    You sound like a hard worker. Keep working hard.
  12. r00tk1ll

    Mandriva 2011rc1

    suppose your talking about gnome..... I couldn't handlle the rosa menu in kde anyway so I replaced it just with a normal button. Easily done from widgets.
  13. r00tk1ll

    Amy Winehouse found dead.

    thats not very nice just cos you've been in the closet all this time about being a hermaphrodite you don't need to take you're pathetic little crybaby antics out on me. Waaaa crybaby waaa.