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theflyingswan

Neighbours huge tree

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Those ideas are all crap.

 

The first thing you need to do is buy some Old Spice.

 

*snip*

 

Mission accomplished.

That was brilliant. Quite brilliant. Lets hope Im never neighbours with you though, you go to epic lengths to get your own way :D

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Those ideas are all crap.

 

The first thing you need to do is buy some Old Spice. That stuff can get pretty potent, and you'll be using a lot of it, but its distinctive and that suits your purpose. Invite your neighbours over for a neighbourly dinner. Make sure you wear your cologne, but you'll want to put it on just before they arrive. Cook something nice and impressive -- roast beef, say, with bombe alaska for desert. Make sure you research a nice bottle of red to go with it. While you have your neighbours over, you want to make sure that you spend plenty of time asking your neighbour's wife about what she does. Be interested. Tell her how wonderful it is that she's so passionate about basket weaving. Every time her glass reaches the half-way mark, be sure to stand up and walk around the table, reaching around her to fill up her glass. Your neighbour way well get uncomfortable with all the attention you're paying to his wife -- don't worry, this will work to your advantage later on.

 

Once the meal is over, politely show your neighbours out. Give him a firm handshake, looking him straight in the eyes and smiling. Give her a lingering kiss on the cheek while slipping your hand around her side -- but don't squeeze. Whisper a little something in her ear. Tell her that you used to play soccer for your school team, or something equally trivial. Make sure you wait outside your front door with the light on until your neighbours have gone inside.

 

Over the next couple of weeks, you'll want to arrange for a few days off work. Spend those days visiting your neighbour's wife while he's not there. It's easy to think up excuses: you want to make sure she liked the meal, you need to borrow a cup of sugar, you want to see if she heard any strange noises last night because you think there might be a possum in your roof. Whatever. But stay a while, and chat. Ask her if she's on a diet, because she seems to be losing a fair bit of weight. Tell her her new haircut looks stunning. As time goes on, begin to slip in questions about her husband -- is he [pause, assume facial expression that shows you're trying to think up a diplomatic word to use] "okay"? Tell her it seems like he doesn't really notice her, that you haven't seen much of a spark between the two of them, that he doesn't seem like someone who really appreciates her. Ask her how long they've been married. No matter what her response, reply with "Wow. Well, that's a long time for anyone." At some point you'll need to excuse yourself to go use her toilet. While there, take out a small bottle of Old Spice and spray it on the toilet paper. If you're particularly daring, you might even be able to sneak into their bedroom at which point you should spray some onto your neighbour's side of the bed.

 

Now, obviously the best next step is to seduce your negihbour's wife and have sex with her repeatedly. She should be quite pliable at this point. If you need some extra help, offer to teach her how to make Martinis while you're over, and get her to taste the first half dozen or so while explaining that they're "not quite right." Buy her chocolates and jewelry. Compliment her on the neatness of her house. If you can't manage it, it's not a big problem, but it will work better if you do manage to break good ol' #7. If you are Catholic, go to confession. If not, continue on to the next step.

 

By this stage, your neighbour will be intensely suspicious of you. He will have asked his wife what you whispered to her, and her reply of "he told me that he used to play soccer," will, of course, sound like a lie. Invite your neighbours over for another meal all the same. Again, wear a lot of Old Spice. See if you can drop into conversation that you've never really been much of a sporting type, and that you particularly hate soccer. Provide a relatively small main course, and for desert bring out the fruit pie/cobbler/trifle/whatever that you used fruit from the tree in question to make. Make sure you supply cream, giving the wife twice as much as anyone else while looking her in the eye and smiling. Halfway through desert, mention to your neighbour that he's extremely lucky -- his is "the sweetest fruit of all." Flick your eyes over to his wife then back down to your plate, while "struggling" to hide a smile.

 

After this meal, take your neighbour out the back to look at the tree in question. Tell him that this tree means a lot to you, and that you hope he never cuts it down. Previously, you will have carved a "cupid" heart into the bark, indicating that your initials are "4" your neighbour's wife's initials. When your neighbour sees this he will get a puzzled look on his face but likely won't say anything -- bring it up all the same. Mutter something about that being the initials of an old dog of yours that died and you wanted to remember "her... sorry, him..." this way. Give your fake dog a girl's name. In an obvious attempt to cover your faux faux pas, draw your neighbour's attention to the chainsaw you left out near the tree. Ask him if he has one of his own. If he doesn't tell him he can always borrow your if he needs it for anything. Tell him your sure he'd let you borrow anything of his, as good neighbours do. Then glance at the tree (in particular the carving), then your chainsaw, then him, and add "almost anything."

 

As your neighbours leave, be sure that you have taken fruit from the tree with you. As you watch your neighbour's wife go, you neighbour will occasionally glance back at you. Eat the fruit as messily as possible, while leaning back against your door frame smiling softly to yourself.

 

The next morning, when you wake up with a broken window and a tree branch in your bed, feel free to sleep in and ignore the hammering sounds -- that's just your neighbour repairing the gap in your fence. Mission accomplished.

POTM.

 

I'm going to have to agree.

 

And god help your neighbour's wives, Fuzz.

 

 

+3, nice to see you out on parole fuzzy.

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*snip*

 

Mission accomplished.

Gosh ! Scary.....and they let you loose on impressionable minds. :P

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Sell your house to a vampire, wait 3 full moons and the vampire should have eaten / killed your neighbour buy back the house from the vampire at a lower price than you sold it for (vampire attacks are great for lowering market value of houses). You should come out with 30 or more grand and a dead neighbour... As for the tree your probably screwed...

Edited by Bundywow

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Those ideas are all crap.

 

The first thing you need to do is buy some Old Spice. That stuff can get pretty potent, and you'll be using a lot of it, but its distinctive and that suits your purpose. Invite your neighbours over for a neighbourly dinner. Make sure you wear your cologne, but you'll want to put it on just before they arrive... Mission accomplished.

 

That is awesome :)

Edited by TinBane

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Sell your house to a vampire, wait 3 full moons and the vampire should have eaten / killed your neighbour buy back the house from the vampire at a lower price than you sold it for (vampire attacks are great for lowering market value of houses). You should come out with 30 or more grand and a dead neighbour... As for the tree your probably screwed...

Or a newly sired Vampire and his Vampire wife for neighbours [:O

Edited by Waltish

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check with council first.

 

if the nighbour is an asshole and complains to council you could land a BIG fine.

 

Under our council we have a tree preservation order.

 

Which basicly means we need permission even to prune a branch off a tree let alone remove it.

 

do without permission and id end up with a $10,000 fine per tree.

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Those ideas are all crap.

 

The first thing you need to do is buy some Old Spice.

 

*snip*

 

Mission accomplished.

That was brilliant. Quite brilliant. Lets hope Im never neighbours with you though, you go to epic lengths to get your own way :D

 

+4. Epic POTM!.

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Sell your house to a vampire, wait 3 full moons and the vampire should have eaten / killed your neighbour buy back the house from the vampire at a lower price than you sold it for (vampire attacks are great for lowering market value of houses). You should come out with 30 or more grand and a dead neighbour... As for the tree your probably screwed...

Or a newly sired Vampire and his Vampire wife for neighbours [:O

 

And that would REALLY suck... ;-)

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Those ideas are all crap.

 

The first thing you need to do is buy some Old Spice. That stuff can get pretty potent, and you'll be using a lot of it, but its distinctive and that suits your purpose. Invite your neighbours over for a neighbourly dinner. Make sure you wear your cologne, but you'll want to put it on just before they arrive. Cook something nice and impressive -- roast beef, say, with bombe alaska for desert. Make sure you research a nice bottle of red to go with it. While you have your neighbours over, you want to make sure that you spend plenty of time asking your neighbour's wife about what she does. Be interested. Tell her how wonderful it is that she's so passionate about basket weaving. Every time her glass reaches the half-way mark, be sure to stand up and walk around the table, reaching around her to fill up her glass. Your neighbour way well get uncomfortable with all the attention you're paying to his wife -- don't worry, this will work to your advantage later on.

 

Once the meal is over, politely show your neighbours out. Give him a firm handshake, looking him straight in the eyes and smiling. Give her a lingering kiss on the cheek while slipping your hand around her side -- but don't squeeze. Whisper a little something in her ear. Tell her that you used to play soccer for your school team, or something equally trivial. Make sure you wait outside your front door with the light on until your neighbours have gone inside.

 

Over the next couple of weeks, you'll want to arrange for a few days off work. Spend those days visiting your neighbour's wife while he's not there. It's easy to think up excuses: you want to make sure she liked the meal, you need to borrow a cup of sugar, you want to see if she heard any strange noises last night because you think there might be a possum in your roof. Whatever. But stay a while, and chat. Ask her if she's on a diet, because she seems to be losing a fair bit of weight. Tell her her new haircut looks stunning. As time goes on, begin to slip in questions about her husband -- is he [pause, assume facial expression that shows you're trying to think up a diplomatic word to use] "okay"? Tell her it seems like he doesn't really notice her, that you haven't seen much of a spark between the two of them, that he doesn't seem like someone who really appreciates her. Ask her how long they've been married. No matter what her response, reply with "Wow. Well, that's a long time for anyone." At some point you'll need to excuse yourself to go use her toilet. While there, take out a small bottle of Old Spice and spray it on the toilet paper. If you're particularly daring, you might even be able to sneak into their bedroom at which point you should spray some onto your neighbour's side of the bed.

 

Now, obviously the best next step is to seduce your neighbour's wife and have sex with her repeatedly. She should be quite pliable at this point. If you need some extra help, offer to teach her how to make Martinis while you're over, and get her to taste the first half dozen or so while explaining that they're "not quite right." Buy her chocolates and jewelry. Compliment her on the neatness of her house. If you can't manage it, it's not a big problem, but it will work better if you do manage to break good ol' #7. If you are Catholic, go to confession. If not, continue on to the next step.

 

By this stage, your neighbour will be intensely suspicious of you. He will have asked his wife what you whispered to her, and her reply of "he told me that he used to play soccer," will, of course, sound like a lie. Invite your neighbours over for another meal all the same. Again, wear a lot of Old Spice. See if you can drop into conversation that you've never really been much of a sporting type, and that you particularly hate soccer. Provide a relatively small main course, and for desert bring out the fruit pie/cobbler/trifle/whatever that you used fruit from the tree in question to make. Make sure you supply cream, giving the wife twice as much as anyone else while looking her in the eye and smiling. Halfway through desert, mention to your neighbour that he's extremely lucky -- his is "the sweetest fruit of all." Flick your eyes over to his wife then back down to your plate, while "struggling" to hide a smile.

 

After this meal, take your neighbour out the back to look at the tree in question. Tell him that this tree means a lot to you, and that you hope he never cuts it down. Previously, you will have carved a "cupid" heart into the bark, indicating that your initials are "4" your neighbour's wife's initials. When your neighbour sees this he will get a puzzled look on his face but likely won't say anything -- bring it up all the same. Mutter something about that being the initials of an old dog of yours that died and you wanted to remember "her... sorry, him..." this way. Give your fake dog a girl's name. In an obvious attempt to cover your faux faux pas, draw your neighbour's attention to the chainsaw you left out near the tree. Ask him if he has one of his own. If he doesn't tell him he can always borrow your if he needs it for anything. Tell him your sure he'd let you borrow anything of his, as good neighbours do. Then glance at the tree (in particular the carving), then your chainsaw, then him, and add "almost anything."

 

As your neighbours leave, be sure that you have taken fruit from the tree with you. As you watch your neighbour's wife go, your neighbour will occasionally glance back at you. Eat the fruit as messily as possible, while leaning back against your door frame smiling softly to yourself.

 

The next morning, when you wake up with a broken window and a tree branch in your bed, feel free to sleep in and ignore the hammering sounds -- that's just your neighbour repairing the gap in your fence. Mission accomplished.

+1 for POTM.

 

With that much forethought going into simply getting a tree trimmed, what are you like at chess?

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Those ideas are all crap.

 

The first thing you need to do is buy some Old Spice. That stuff can get pretty potent, and you'll be using a lot of it, but its distinctive and that suits your purpose. Invite your neighbours over for a neighbourly dinner. Make sure you wear your cologne, but you'll want to put it on just before they arrive. Cook something nice and impressive -- roast beef, say, with bombe alaska for desert. Make sure you research a nice bottle of red to go with it. While you have your neighbours over, you want to make sure that you spend plenty of time asking your neighbour's wife about what she does. Be interested. Tell her how wonderful it is that she's so passionate about basket weaving. Every time her glass reaches the half-way mark, be sure to stand up and walk around the table, reaching around her to fill up her glass. Your neighbour way well get uncomfortable with all the attention you're paying to his wife -- don't worry, this will work to your advantage later on.

 

Once the meal is over, politely show your neighbours out. Give him a firm handshake, looking him straight in the eyes and smiling. Give her a lingering kiss on the cheek while slipping your hand around her side -- but don't squeeze. Whisper a little something in her ear. Tell her that you used to play soccer for your school team, or something equally trivial. Make sure you wait outside your front door with the light on until your neighbours have gone inside.

 

Over the next couple of weeks, you'll want to arrange for a few days off work. Spend those days visiting your neighbour's wife while he's not there. It's easy to think up excuses: you want to make sure she liked the meal, you need to borrow a cup of sugar, you want to see if she heard any strange noises last night because you think there might be a possum in your roof. Whatever. But stay a while, and chat. Ask her if she's on a diet, because she seems to be losing a fair bit of weight. Tell her her new haircut looks stunning. As time goes on, begin to slip in questions about her husband -- is he [pause, assume facial expression that shows you're trying to think up a diplomatic word to use] "okay"? Tell her it seems like he doesn't really notice her, that you haven't seen much of a spark between the two of them, that he doesn't seem like someone who really appreciates her. Ask her how long they've been married. No matter what her response, reply with "Wow. Well, that's a long time for anyone." At some point you'll need to excuse yourself to go use her toilet. While there, take out a small bottle of Old Spice and spray it on the toilet paper. If you're particularly daring, you might even be able to sneak into their bedroom at which point you should spray some onto your neighbour's side of the bed.

 

Now, obviously the best next step is to seduce your negihbour's wife and have sex with her repeatedly. She should be quite pliable at this point. If you need some extra help, offer to teach her how to make Martinis while you're over, and get her to taste the first half dozen or so while explaining that they're "not quite right." Buy her chocolates and jewelry. Compliment her on the neatness of her house. If you can't manage it, it's not a big problem, but it will work better if you do manage to break good ol' #7. If you are Catholic, go to confession. If not, continue on to the next step.

 

By this stage, your neighbour will be intensely suspicious of you. He will have asked his wife what you whispered to her, and her reply of "he told me that he used to play soccer," will, of course, sound like a lie. Invite your neighbours over for another meal all the same. Again, wear a lot of Old Spice. See if you can drop into conversation that you've never really been much of a sporting type, and that you particularly hate soccer. Provide a relatively small main course, and for desert bring out the fruit pie/cobbler/trifle/whatever that you used fruit from the tree in question to make. Make sure you supply cream, giving the wife twice as much as anyone else while looking her in the eye and smiling. Halfway through desert, mention to your neighbour that he's extremely lucky -- his is "the sweetest fruit of all." Flick your eyes over to his wife then back down to your plate, while "struggling" to hide a smile.

 

After this meal, take your neighbour out the back to look at the tree in question. Tell him that this tree means a lot to you, and that you hope he never cuts it down. Previously, you will have carved a "cupid" heart into the bark, indicating that your initials are "4" your neighbour's wife's initials. When your neighbour sees this he will get a puzzled look on his face but likely won't say anything -- bring it up all the same. Mutter something about that being the initials of an old dog of yours that died and you wanted to remember "her... sorry, him..." this way. Give your fake dog a girl's name. In an obvious attempt to cover your faux faux pas, draw your neighbour's attention to the chainsaw you left out near the tree. Ask him if he has one of his own. If he doesn't tell him he can always borrow your if he needs it for anything. Tell him your sure he'd let you borrow anything of his, as good neighbours do. Then glance at the tree (in particular the carving), then your chainsaw, then him, and add "almost anything."

 

As your neighbours leave, be sure that you have taken fruit from the tree with you. As you watch your neighbour's wife go, you neighbour will occasionally glance back at you. Eat the fruit as messily as possible, while leaning back against your door frame smiling softly to yourself.

 

The next morning, when you wake up with a broken window and a tree branch in your bed, feel free to sleep in and ignore the hammering sounds -- that's just your neighbour repairing the gap in your fence. Mission accomplished.

POTM.

 

I'm going to have to agree.

 

And god help your neighbour's wives, Fuzz.

 

 

+3, nice to see you out on parole fuzzy.

 

Plus, and one.

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Those ideas are all crap.

 

The first thing you need to do is buy some Old Spice. That stuff can get pretty potent, and you'll be using a lot of it, but its distinctive and that suits your purpose. Invite your neighbours over for a neighbourly dinner. Make sure you wear your cologne, but you'll want to put it on just before they arrive. Cook something nice and impressive -- roast beef, say, with bombe alaska for desert. Make sure you research a nice bottle of red to go with it. While you have your neighbours over, you want to make sure that you spend plenty of time asking your neighbour's wife about what she does. Be interested. Tell her how wonderful it is that she's so passionate about basket weaving. Every time her glass reaches the half-way mark, be sure to stand up and walk around the table, reaching around her to fill up her glass. Your neighbour way well get uncomfortable with all the attention you're paying to his wife -- don't worry, this will work to your advantage later on.

 

Once the meal is over, politely show your neighbours out. Give him a firm handshake, looking him straight in the eyes and smiling. Give her a lingering kiss on the cheek while slipping your hand around her side -- but don't squeeze. Whisper a little something in her ear. Tell her that you used to play soccer for your school team, or something equally trivial. Make sure you wait outside your front door with the light on until your neighbours have gone inside.

 

Over the next couple of weeks, you'll want to arrange for a few days off work. Spend those days visiting your neighbour's wife while he's not there. It's easy to think up excuses: you want to make sure she liked the meal, you need to borrow a cup of sugar, you want to see if she heard any strange noises last night because you think there might be a possum in your roof. Whatever. But stay a while, and chat. Ask her if she's on a diet, because she seems to be losing a fair bit of weight. Tell her her new haircut looks stunning. As time goes on, begin to slip in questions about her husband -- is he [pause, assume facial expression that shows you're trying to think up a diplomatic word to use] "okay"? Tell her it seems like he doesn't really notice her, that you haven't seen much of a spark between the two of them, that he doesn't seem like someone who really appreciates her. Ask her how long they've been married. No matter what her response, reply with "Wow. Well, that's a long time for anyone." At some point you'll need to excuse yourself to go use her toilet. While there, take out a small bottle of Old Spice and spray it on the toilet paper. If you're particularly daring, you might even be able to sneak into their bedroom at which point you should spray some onto your neighbour's side of the bed.

 

Now, obviously the best next step is to seduce your negihbour's wife and have sex with her repeatedly. She should be quite pliable at this point. If you need some extra help, offer to teach her how to make Martinis while you're over, and get her to taste the first half dozen or so while explaining that they're "not quite right." Buy her chocolates and jewelry. Compliment her on the neatness of her house. If you can't manage it, it's not a big problem, but it will work better if you do manage to break good ol' #7. If you are Catholic, go to confession. If not, continue on to the next step.

 

By this stage, your neighbour will be intensely suspicious of you. He will have asked his wife what you whispered to her, and her reply of "he told me that he used to play soccer," will, of course, sound like a lie. Invite your neighbours over for another meal all the same. Again, wear a lot of Old Spice. See if you can drop into conversation that you've never really been much of a sporting type, and that you particularly hate soccer. Provide a relatively small main course, and for desert bring out the fruit pie/cobbler/trifle/whatever that you used fruit from the tree in question to make. Make sure you supply cream, giving the wife twice as much as anyone else while looking her in the eye and smiling. Halfway through desert, mention to your neighbour that he's extremely lucky -- his is "the sweetest fruit of all." Flick your eyes over to his wife then back down to your plate, while "struggling" to hide a smile.

 

After this meal, take your neighbour out the back to look at the tree in question. Tell him that this tree means a lot to you, and that you hope he never cuts it down. Previously, you will have carved a "cupid" heart into the bark, indicating that your initials are "4" your neighbour's wife's initials. When your neighbour sees this he will get a puzzled look on his face but likely won't say anything -- bring it up all the same. Mutter something about that being the initials of an old dog of yours that died and you wanted to remember "her... sorry, him..." this way. Give your fake dog a girl's name. In an obvious attempt to cover your faux faux pas, draw your neighbour's attention to the chainsaw you left out near the tree. Ask him if he has one of his own. If he doesn't tell him he can always borrow your if he needs it for anything. Tell him your sure he'd let you borrow anything of his, as good neighbours do. Then glance at the tree (in particular the carving), then your chainsaw, then him, and add "almost anything."

 

As your neighbours leave, be sure that you have taken fruit from the tree with you. As you watch your neighbour's wife go, you neighbour will occasionally glance back at you. Eat the fruit as messily as possible, while leaning back against your door frame smiling softly to yourself.

 

The next morning, when you wake up with a broken window and a tree branch in your bed, feel free to sleep in and ignore the hammering sounds -- that's just your neighbour repairing the gap in your fence. Mission accomplished.

POTM.

 

I'm going to have to agree.

 

And god help your neighbour's wives, Fuzz.

 

 

+3, nice to see you out on parole fuzzy.

 

Plus, and one.

 

Fo'sho POTM. :o

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On 2/7/2010 at 10:32 PM, tezlin said:
On 2/7/2010 at 8:58 PM, twinair said:
On 2/6/2010 at 11:29 AM, plebsmacker said:
On 2/6/2010 at 10:22 AM, orinjuse said:
On 2/6/2010 at 10:00 AM, Saponification said:
On 2/6/2010 at 9:54 AM, 1shot1kill said:
The Fuzz damn you! said:

Those ideas are all crap.

 

The first thing you need to do is buy some Old Spice. That stuff can get pretty potent, and you'll be using a lot of it, but its distinctive and that suits your purpose. Invite your neighbours over for a neighbourly dinner. Make sure you wear your cologne, but you'll want to put it on just before they arrive. Cook something nice and impressive -- roast beef, say, with bombe alaska for desert. Make sure you research a nice bottle of red to go with it. While you have your neighbours over, you want to make sure that you spend plenty of time asking your neighbour's wife about what she does. Be interested. Tell her how wonderful it is that she's so passionate about basket weaving. Every time her glass reaches the half-way mark, be sure to stand up and walk around the table, reaching around her to fill up her glass. Your neighbour way well get uncomfortable with all the attention you're paying to his wife -- don't worry, this will work to your advantage later on.

 

Once the meal is over, politely show your neighbours out. Give him a firm handshake, looking him straight in the eyes and smiling. Give her a lingering kiss on the cheek while slipping your hand around her side -- but don't squeeze. Whisper a little something in her ear. Tell her that you used to play soccer for your school team, or something equally trivial. Make sure you wait outside your front door with the light on until your neighbours have gone inside.

 

Over the next couple of weeks, you'll want to arrange for a few days off work. Spend those days visiting your neighbour's wife while he's not there. It's easy to think up excuses: you want to make sure she liked the meal, you need to borrow a cup of sugar, you want to see if she heard any strange noises last night because you think there might be a possum in your roof. Whatever. But stay a while, and chat. Ask her if she's on a diet, because she seems to be losing a fair bit of weight. Tell her her new haircut looks stunning. As time goes on, begin to slip in questions about her husband -- is he [pause, assume facial expression that shows you're trying to think up a diplomatic word to use] "okay"? Tell her it seems like he doesn't really notice her, that you haven't seen much of a spark between the two of them, that he doesn't seem like someone who really appreciates her. Ask her how long they've been married. No matter what her response, reply with "Wow. Well, that's a long time for anyone." At some point you'll need to excuse yourself to go use her toilet. While there, take out a small bottle of Old Spice and spray it on the toilet paper. If you're particularly daring, you might even be able to sneak into their bedroom at which point you should spray some onto your neighbour's side of the bed.

 

Now, obviously the best next step is to seduce your negihbour's wife and have sex with her repeatedly. She should be quite pliable at this point. If you need some extra help, offer to teach her how to make Martinis while you're over, and get her to taste the first half dozen or so while explaining that they're "not quite right." Buy her chocolates and jewelry. Compliment her on the neatness of her house. If you can't manage it, it's not a big problem, but it will work better if you do manage to break good ol' #7. If you are Catholic, go to confession. If not, continue on to the next step.

 

By this stage, your neighbour will be intensely suspicious of you. He will have asked his wife what you whispered to her, and her reply of "he told me that he used to play soccer," will, of course, sound like a lie. Invite your neighbours over for another meal all the same. Again, wear a lot of Old Spice. See if you can drop into conversation that you've never really been much of a sporting type, and that you particularly hate soccer. Provide a relatively small main course, and for desert bring out the fruit pie/cobbler/trifle/whatever that you used fruit from the tree in question to make. Make sure you supply cream, giving the wife twice as much as anyone else while looking her in the eye and smiling. Halfway through desert, mention to your neighbour that he's extremely lucky -- his is "the sweetest fruit of all." Flick your eyes over to his wife then back down to your plate, while "struggling" to hide a smile.

 

After this meal, take your neighbour out the back to look at the tree in question. Tell him that this tree means a lot to you, and that you hope he never cuts it down. Previously, you will have carved a "cupid" heart into the bark, indicating that your initials are "4" your neighbour's wife's initials. When your neighbour sees this he will get a puzzled look on his face but likely won't say anything -- bring it up all the same. Mutter something about that being the initials of an old dog of yours that died and you wanted to remember "her... sorry, him..." this way. Give your fake dog a girl's name. In an obvious attempt to cover your faux faux pas, draw your neighbour's attention to the chainsaw you left out near the tree. Ask him if he has one of his own. If he doesn't tell him he can always borrow your if he needs it for anything. Tell him your sure he'd let you borrow anything of his, as good neighbours do. Then glance at the tree (in particular the carving), then your chainsaw, then him, and add "almost anything."

 

As your neighbours leave, be sure that you have taken fruit from the tree with you. As you watch your neighbour's wife go, you neighbour will occasionally glance back at you. Eat the fruit as messily as possible, while leaning back against your door frame smiling softly to yourself.

 

The next morning, when you wake up with a broken window and a tree branch in your bed, feel free to sleep in and ignore the hammering sounds -- that's just your neighbour repairing the gap in your fence. Mission accomplished.

I like your thinking!

POTM.

I'm going to have to agree.

 

And god help your neighbour's wives, Fuzz.

+3, nice to see you out on parole fuzzy.

Plus, and one.

Fo'sho POTM. 😮

nice one, Fuzz 😉

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14 minutes ago, @~thehung said:

 

nice one, Fuzz 😉

 

 

 

hey thehung, it's appreciated if you link to the post you want to mention rather than necromancy the original.  

 

Sometimes people miss the fact that a thread is very old and don't realise it's not a current topic and wasn't created recently.

 

I know a lot of people are going to be trawling very old posts for the next couple of weeks, so it will be a lot less confusing for everyone if years old threads don't suddenly make a comeback. 🙂

 

This has been a PSA. 😛

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4 minutes ago, Chaos.Lady said:

 

hey thehung, it's appreciated if you link to the post you want to mention rather than necromancy the original.  

 

Sometimes people miss the fact that a thread is very old and don't realise it's not a current topic and wasn't created recently.

 

I know a lot of people are going to be trawling very old posts for the next couple of weeks, so it will be a lot less confusing for everyone if years old threads don't suddenly make a comeback. 🙂

 

This has been a PSA. 😛

 

"it's appreciated if you link to the post you want to mention rather than necromancy the original."

half the point was to highlight the thread itself, so that people can relive it, and the participants would get the notification shout out. a bit of fun before this place implodes. 

 

"Sometimes people miss the fact that a thread is very old and don't realise it's not a current topic and wasn't created recently."

well, the dates on posts are a dead giveaway.  whats the worst that could happen?

 

"I know a lot of people are going to be trawling very old posts for the next couple of weeks, so it will be a lot less confusing for everyone if years old threads don't suddenly make a comeback"

ive never understood the extreme aversion to bumping old threads, especially when there is a rationale, and i understand it even less now.

General Chat and The Green Room used to move so fast, and now we have just a trickle.  we're all older and slower, and almost dead, but i think we could figure it out. 

 

take this thread, for example, about A universe from nothing... (somebody should bump that!)

Lawrence Krauss' works are still factual and relevant and widely available.  the philosophical discussion in the thread is timeless, and the classic nature of the thread as a whole and the contributors therein is worth some reminiscence.  most people who would like to look it over probably would never find it.  and now the link to it is buried in this post.  i will consider starting a thread with some links to curated old threads when as i come accross them, but there may not be time for that, and people might not see it.  in the mean time, please consider relaxing the rules a little in this regard before the comet hits us.

 

 

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Just now, @~thehung said:

whats the worst that could happen?

lol . maaaaate your end is nigh !

I remembered that story once I got to the bombalaska  .... still scary

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31 minutes ago, @~thehung said:

 

"it's appreciated if you link to the post you want to mention rather than necromancy the original."

half the point was to highlight the thread itself, so that people can relive it, and the participants would get the notification shout out. a bit of fun before this place implodes. 

 

"Sometimes people miss the fact that a thread is very old and don't realise it's not a current topic and wasn't created recently."

well, the dates on posts are a dead giveaway.  whats the worst that could happen?

 

"I know a lot of people are going to be trawling very old posts for the next couple of weeks, so it will be a lot less confusing for everyone if years old threads don't suddenly make a comeback"

ive never understood the extreme aversion to bumping old threads, especially when there is a rationale, and i understand it even less now.

General Chat and The Green Room used to move so fast, and now we have just a trickle.  we're all older and slower, and almost dead, but i think we could figure it out. 

 

take this thread, for example, about A universe from nothing... (somebody should bump that!)

Lawrence Krauss' works are still factual and relevant and widely available.  the philosophical discussion in the thread is timeless, and the classic nature of the thread as a whole and the contributors therein is worth some reminiscence.  most people who would like to look it over probably would never find it.  and now the link to it is buried in this post.  i will consider starting a thread with some links to curated old threads when as i come accross them, but there may not be time for that, and people might not see it.  in the mean time, please consider relaxing the rules a little in this regard before the comet hits us.

 

 

 

You can read the thread from a link which still highlights its existence, and it's REALLY easy to not notice the dates on a thread.  

 

The aversion is to prevent confusion from people responding to comments made ages ago without realising.  People obviously aren't as eagle-eyed as you are with the dates.  I missed the fact that the abortion thread was actually years old until it was pointed out just a couple of days ago.

 

As you say, we are nearly dead anyway, so whatever.  But I'm still trying to keep things as they should be around here, while the water swells at my feet and the lifeboats are pushed off.  It's not a matter of relaxing the rules (but yes, the rule has always been that necro'd threads are immediately locked) and I haven't locked the thread you will notice.  I'm just pointing out a way to be polite to dumbarses like me who don't always note the dates on a thread.

 

The universe from nothing discussion was really interesting, but I'm not sure what the point would be of reviving the old thread.  Creating your own with a link to the original conversation would allow the discussion to continue just as well.  And it's not hard to refer back to another thread if you need to.

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I thought we'd seen that last of those fucking pyramids years ago.  One of the most irritating things is when someone needlessly quotes the entire post immediately before their own.

 

At least this release of Invision gives you the ability to collapse them down.

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3 hours ago, Chaos.Lady said:

 

You can read the thread from a link which still highlights its existence, and it's REALLY easy to not notice the dates on a thread.  

 

The aversion is to prevent confusion from people responding to comments made ages ago without realising.  People obviously aren't as eagle-eyed as you are with the dates.  I missed the fact that the abortion thread was actually years old until it was pointed out just a couple of days ago.

 

As you say, we are nearly dead anyway, so whatever.  But I'm still trying to keep things as they should be around here, while the water swells at my feet and the lifeboats are pushed off.  It's not a matter of relaxing the rules (but yes, the rule has always been that necro'd threads are immediately locked) and I haven't locked the thread you will notice.  I'm just pointing out a way to be polite to dumbarses like me who don't always note the dates on a thread.

 

The universe from nothing discussion was really interesting, but I'm not sure what the point would be of reviving the old thread.  Creating your own with a link to the original conversation would allow the discussion to continue just as well.  And it's not hard to refer back to another thread if you need to.

 

yeah, its easy to miss dates, especially because some threads are already old ("What's on your mind?" 2012).  but again, not realising that a post is old, and replying to it, doesnt seem like anything approaching a catastrophe.  quite often, it would lead to more discussion, which is why we're here.  of course many threads should be left alone, like a tech question extremely tied to its time, or someone posting about a sensitive personal issue, or something tedious thats well and truly run its course (abortion thread!), or anything users and mods are happy died a natural death.   but the general level of panic over necro'd threads in the culture of forum moderation internet-wide has always bewildered me.

 

in the case of the "A universe from nothing..." thread, if i'd bumped that now it wouldve been to highlight it for nostalgia only.  but if most of the members involved were still active, then even if the thread was a decade old, i dont see how its age would make any difference.  its a discussion that could be resumed at any time, and it would be impractical not be able to continue it by easily quoting previous posts. i might make a thread, but it would be REALLY easy not to notice it.

Edited by @~thehung
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Chaos, don't be an old fuddy duddy.  Atomic is ending, people are finally coming back and getting involved.  Now is not the time to flex your "powers" to the world. 

 

People should be encouraged to post and resurrect the fond memories they have. Not be chased out by someone with a stick up their arse.

 

You'll still have your kingdom of nothing in a month, let ppl have fun. 

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A positive about this thread bump - look at the first page and the regulars we've not seen in yonks.

 

 

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