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kablez

So I'm probably bi-polar...

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I've always felt like I wasn't in control of my mental state - people who know me know that I'm generally a very happy and energetic person with the occasional downside...

 

For the past 2 years I've been developing a pot habit that has culminated in me going to see a doctor because of my mood swings (I've always thoguht it was depression, dad has major depression and grand-dad did too)... The doc reckons I most likely began becoming bipolar around the end of high school - which sounds right because it's right before the start of my drug/alcohol binge that my adult life has been... so that's interesting that I may not have been in the driver's seat :P

 

So yes, I know why I was so hooked on the pot and I'm taking a break from it before I resume those social activities... and I'm now on this stuff called Seroquel which is on a really low dose but makes me into a total zombie.

 

I read up on Seroquel and sedation/poor memory is a common problem at first, but no one seems to discuss it long term or how people manage it's sedative properties. I was thinking of just asking the doctor for some options (like dexies or modafinil). Exercise does not alleviate the drowsiness - I can go for a brain dead 30 min jog and fall back asleep... and, of course, coffee makes me depressive and cigarettes are disgusting (note: I am a casual smoker) so I'm pretty low on awakeness options lol.

 

 

(I wrote this thread hoping for ideas/advice from people in similar situation... or a doctor on here [if i'm lucky enough to catch one in here] heh)

Edited by kablez

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Take lots and lots of viagra. If you can still feel drowsy with a 27/4 woody then well, maybe you're a wintering bear.

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At least you'll get some decent sleep, now.

 

I do :) Me and sleep are like.... old lovers seeing each other again after the war...

 

Unfortunately I'm completely useless to society at the moment... even more useless than I was stoned haha

 

Take lots and lots of viagra. If you can still feel drowsy with a 27/4 woody then well, maybe you're a wintering bear.

 

Hahaha - actually, viagra can cause bipolar people to relapse ;)

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You can't really come to a diagnosis if you're constantly pumping mind-altering substances into your body.

 

But the thing is, an artificial acute condition can eventually become a "natural" chronic one with enough "assistance".

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Seroquel, dexies or modafinil???

 

 

Dude...you'd be better off with the pot..srsly.

 

Or just quit everything for a couple of months and see how you go, get plenty of fresh water (i.e. not the shit out of the tap) and plenty of raw veges, salads etc and see how you're feeling afterwards.

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You can't really come to a diagnosis if you're constantly pumping mind-altering substances into your body.

Actually, you can have an observation of "prone to substance abuse" - which is a symptom of being bi-polar... which you can then use towards a diagnosis :)

 

But the thing is, an artificial acute condition can eventually become a "natural" chronic one with enough "assistance".

Yes, maybe if you're an LSD user.

 

Seroquel, dexies or modafinil???

 

 

Dude...you'd be better off with the pot..srsly.

 

Or just quit everything for a couple of months and see how you go, get plenty of fresh water (i.e. not the shit out of the tap) and plenty of raw veges, salads etc and see how you're feeling afterwards.

 

I know right? That's kind of what I'm thinking - so I can be 'societally acceptable' and become a walking pharmaceutical lab at all times of day.... or I can be a dirty criminal and have a few cones after work to help me relax. Only problem is that weed is more expensive, easily abused (cause I don't measure it, so not a reliable mood balancer) and makes me super hungry (like... destroyer of worlds).

 

But yeah, I've had times where I don't take anything or do anything too adventurous... Just relax, gets lots of exercise... and it usually ends in a serious depressive episode. I literally cannot handle my own mind :P

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Seroquel which is on a really low dose but makes me into a total zombie.

I sort of agree with Director here.

 

If the dose of stuff you're on is low and is still having a major effect, then I'd go back to your doctor and discuss this.

 

Give your body a chance to clean out from the dope etc. Eat well, plenty of water, and time to adapt....

 

Don't stress on the "bi-polar" title...just deal with what's occurring as it happens.

 

*wishing you better* :)

 

edit: though I don't agree with D. as far as the pot is concerned...give your body a rest from "recreational drugs" for a while.

See how it goes...Life isn't boring with out them it's different ...is all.

Edited by eveln

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You've got too many variables in the equation.

 

You might not like to hear it, but for starters you'd need to give the pot & piss a rest for a good few months before any evaluation would be anywhere near properly valid.

 

Of course, medication can swing things one way or the other, but you're best not to just take it up or toss it out without Doctor's advice.

 

Like you said, you're an "adult" now... part of being an adult is that now you're the one responsible for your own happiness and wellbeing.

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Self medication is typically for stupid people. You may as well go on a homeopathic remedy, for all the dose control you'll actually have.

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You can't really come to a diagnosis if you're constantly pumping mind-altering substances into your body.

Actually, you can have an observation of "prone to substance abuse" - which is a symptom of being bi-polar... which you can then use towards a diagnosis :)

 

But the thing is, an artificial acute condition can eventually become a "natural" chronic one with enough "assistance".

Yes, maybe if you're an LSD user.

 

Seroquel, dexies or modafinil???

 

 

Dude...you'd be better off with the pot..srsly.

 

Or just quit everything for a couple of months and see how you go, get plenty of fresh water (i.e. not the shit out of the tap) and plenty of raw veges, salads etc and see how you're feeling afterwards.

 

I know right? That's kind of what I'm thinking - so I can be 'societally acceptable' and become a walking pharmaceutical lab at all times of day.... or I can be a dirty criminal and have a few cones after work to help me relax. Only problem is that weed is more expensive, easily abused (cause I don't measure it, so not a reliable mood balancer) and makes me super hungry (like... destroyer of worlds).

 

But yeah, I've had times where I don't take anything or do anything too adventurous... Just relax, gets lots of exercise... and it usually ends in a serious depressive episode. I literally cannot handle my own mind :P

 

So learn some discipline? Instead of cones, roll a joint and only smoke on the weekends, that way you'll know exactly how much you're having and you'll also have a target for the week. If you get the munchies have plenty of said fresh fruit and veg ready to chow down on. ;)

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@eveln and @Rybags

 

I think it needs to be made clear that I'm not a healthy person... Being bi-polar means having a mental illness, it's not a foul mood I can walk off and feel better. If I stop medicating outright I could become suicidal and/or uncontrollably aggressive... there's no telling.

 

As I mentioned earlier, I've had periods where I've been 'clean' and it was a horrifying hell of emotional pain ( you could tell me I had pretty hair and I'd find a way to link it to my childhood and feelings of insecurity about my hair ) I never want to go back to. The longest I've gone for is 3 months....

 

If I went home today and didn't have anything I would be ok, even for a few days - but eventually something will trigger an episode and I'll be in and out of hospital, out of work and my personal life will be in shambles.... it's not an option.

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Fair enough... if you've been diagnosed as such and all concerned are satisfied with that opinion, then it comes down to acceptance.

 

But, you're mixing piss and pot with medication and a natural imbalance of brain chemistry - so the results are obviously going to be unpredictable.

 

You can either keep going how you are and only experience balance whilst going from one extreme to the other, or adjust your lifestyle and actually experience it for a longer term.

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@eveln and @Rybags

 

I think it needs to be made clear that I'm not a healthy person... Being bi-polar means having a mental illness, it's not a foul mood I can walk off and feel better. If I stop medicating outright I could become suicidal and/or uncontrollably aggressive... there's no telling.

 

As I mentioned earlier, I've had periods where I've been 'clean' and it was a horrifying hell of emotional pain ( you could tell me I had pretty hair and I'd find a way to link it to my childhood and feelings of insecurity about my hair ) I never want to go back to. The longest I've gone for is 3 months....

 

If I went home today and didn't have anything I would be ok, even for a few days - but eventually something will trigger an episode and I'll be in and out of hospital, out of work and my personal life will be in shambles.... it's not an option.

I understand.

I suggested giving the "recreational drugs" a miss, and letting your body clean itself of them. By all means follow

your doctors prescription...he is the professional.

 

I did not mean to imply that good food and plenty of water would cure you. Just that it would go some way to helping you

deal with your "bi - polar ".

Dope will just mess you around as well...imo :)

 

edit: just read Rybags...+1.

Edited by eveln

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Fair enough... if you've been diagnosed as such and all concerned are satisfied with that opinion, then it comes down to acceptance.

 

But, you're mixing piss and pot with medication and a natural imbalance of brain chemistry - so the results are obviously going to be unpredictable.

 

You can either keep going how you are and only experience balance whilst going from one extreme to the other, or adjust your lifestyle and actually experience it for a longer term.

 

Heehee, I'm in between things I guess :P

 

It's a very confusing time for someone who's naturally confused... I don't want to be one of those people who needs to be medicated for the rest of their life... And I'm still enthralled and scared by how my own lifestyle choices and behaviours are 'symptoms' and not necessarily my personality. Where do you draw the line between what defines you and what you are? Am I just a really generic person with a mental illnses? It's an interesting identity crisis... certainly more complicated than "Am I gay?" haha.

 

Anyway, at the very least I would choose the weed option, simply because it's far less damaging to the body and doesn't need to be mixed or combined with other drugs to make it useful. The biggest problem with it is cost and stability... I've heard of cases in Canada and the US where people are able to buy over the counter cannabinoid tablets to help manage a range of mental illnesses... but Australia is probably a way off for that.

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Am I just a really generic person with a mental illnses? It's an interesting identity crisis... certainly more complicated than "Am I gay?" haha.

*grins*

 

Remember to always wear 'interesting' clothes when in public :P

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Seroquel which is on a really low dose but makes me into a total zombie.

I sort of agree with Director here.

 

If the dose of stuff you're on is low and is still having a major effect, then I'd go back to your doctor and discuss this.

 

Seroquel is very sedating at low doses till you get used to it. Below 100mg it will knock most people out for the first week to two weeks, till you get some tolerance to the antihistamine action.

If you are bipolar you will probably be in the 3-600mg range, It doesn't actually do much below 300. It will help with anxiety a bit, but thats it.

 

As your dose increases, And you get used to it, you won't feel tired after taking it. You will probably get the munchies from it though.

Assuming you are actually bipolar, Lithium would be your best bet. None of these drugs really have mind altering effects though, So you are probably against taking any of them.

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Fair enough... if you've been diagnosed as such and all concerned are satisfied with that opinion, then it comes down to acceptance.

 

But, you're mixing piss and pot with medication and a natural imbalance of brain chemistry - so the results are obviously going to be unpredictable.

 

You can either keep going how you are and only experience balance whilst going from one extreme to the other, or adjust your lifestyle and actually experience it for a longer term.

 

Heehee, I'm in between things I guess :P

 

It's a very confusing time for someone who's naturally confused... I don't want to be one of those people who needs to be medicated for the rest of their life... And I'm still enthralled and scared by how my own lifestyle choices and behaviours are 'symptoms' and not necessarily my personality. Where do you draw the line between what defines you and what you are? Am I just a really generic person with a mental illnses? It's an interesting identity crisis... certainly more complicated than "Am I gay?" haha.

 

Anyway, at the very least I would choose the weed option, simply because it's far less damaging to the body and doesn't need to be mixed or combined with other drugs to make it useful. The biggest problem with it is cost and stability... I've heard of cases in Canada and the US where people are able to buy over the counter cannabinoid tablets to help manage a range of mental illnesses... but Australia is probably a way off for that.

 

These things are crap from what I've read, what IS taking off over there are Medical MJ clubs where you can just go to a shop and buy what you need over the counter...yes we're a long way off that too but hopefully prop 19 next month will start the ball rolling in the U.S. and then eventually here.

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Seroquel does mess with people at the start- I've been hospitalised enough times to see other people on it...I'm pretty sure I would've been on it at some stage, too- my history is diverse! Was "bi-polar" at one stage...was on meds and all...now I'm 'correctly' (I think its true) diagnosed as 'schizo-affective'...mind you, I kept smoking a lot of weed long after the original diagnosis, so who knows? (And that whole diagnosis period ranged from depression in high school 20 years ago...)

 

Anyways, the name is not important, as someone else said- just learn how to live with whatever is thrown at you. If you are concerned about the medication side of treatment, speak to your doctor/s. The suggestions of good diet and exercise are right on the money, too. Especially since you might find the drugs help pack the weight on, unfortunately.

 

An enjoyable life and being 'acceptable to society' are well and truly possible...but be prepared for things to take a while!!! There will be ups and downs, and finding the right medication/life balance for you will likely take a lot of that time. But with the right people around you and a strong resolve from yourself, you will prevail.

 

But yeah, I'm gonna be a party-pooper and suggest you lay off weed for a while. It won't hurt to do so, and the benefits could be massive. They might not be, but there's only one way to find out, yeah? I haven't smoked for over five years now, which is a MASSIVE step from where I was. Probably best to lay off the booze (in large amounts, anyway) too, med's and booze can make ugly partners. I can now go out for a night with the boys no problem, but a) I'm probably a bit of an idiot in that regard and b) you have to learn, slowly, what is a sensible level for you.

 

Whatever you do, DO NOT self-medicate with the prescribed medications. You have been given a specific dose for a reason. If it is affecting you negatively, speak with your doctor- if they are half-decent they will work with you on this- it's YOU taking the drugs, not them, so always talk with them. Never stop the med's suddenly, unless your doctor advises you to do that. Usually, these medications require a tapering off period if they are to be stopped. Also give them time to help- one of the medications I am currently on, started working quite quickly, but I was advised I would not get full benefit for about 12 months...which would have been about right- I've been on it since '07 (sometime around then anyway)

 

If you ever have questions or want to share experiences, PM me

 

Good luck with your journey

Stu

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Self medication is typically for stupid people. You may as well go on a homeopathic remedy, for all the dose control you'll actually have.

Not to be snide but most medications you get are modelled after a "maximum safe dose" philosophy rather than a minimum effective doseage stratagy so really if you are leaning toward phamacuticles because the dosages are measured better then your mislead, also self medication is more like being involved in a drug trial if you do it correctly, allows you to use substances that aren't approved and may have unintended consequences but can be vastly more effective in some circumstances.

 

 

 

 

@eveln and @Rybags

 

I think it needs to be made clear that I'm not a healthy person... Being bi-polar means having a mental illness, it's not a foul mood I can walk off and feel better. If I stop medicating outright I could become suicidal and/or uncontrollably aggressive... there's no telling.

 

As I mentioned earlier, I've had periods where I've been 'clean' and it was a horrifying hell of emotional pain ( you could tell me I had pretty hair and I'd find a way to link it to my childhood and feelings of insecurity about my hair ) I never want to go back to. The longest I've gone for is 3 months....

 

If I went home today and didn't have anything I would be ok, even for a few days - but eventually something will trigger an episode and I'll be in and out of hospital, out of work and my personal life will be in shambles.... it's not an option.

Firstly don't use bi-polar as a crutch, having a condition doesn't excuse your behaviour it just gives a reason for it.

 

Secondly I really hope by doctor your mean psychiatrist or at least please tell me that you have had a second opinion from a psychologist. (I don't trust medical gp's making psychological diagnoses)

At least that way you have judgement based on people who know the conditions rather than someone playing match the disease with a diagnostic manual.

 

Also you say If I stop medicating outright I could become suicidal and/or uncontrollably aggressive Is that you saying that or the doctor?

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I understand.

I suggested giving the "recreational drugs" a miss, and letting your body clean itself of them. By all means follow

your doctors prescription...he is the professional.

 

I did not mean to imply that good food and plenty of water would cure you. Just that it would go some way to helping you

deal with your "bi - polar ".

Dope will just mess you around as well...imo :)

 

edit: just read Rybags...+1.

 

Ahh cheers :)

 

Yeah, I'm actually afraid of the doctor's advice in the long term... My dad has frequent (2+ a year) manic depressive episodes and spends time every year in hospitalized isolation - and that's while using anti-depressants et al to manage his problem, I can't even imagine what he would be like without. If the doctors can't manage to keep him stable after feeding him their own blend of psychoactive cocktails for 20 years, what hope do I have?

 

It kinda feels like my options are:

- Trust the doctor, and hope I'm lucky enough not to need to add layer upon layer of drugs to fight the last drug's symptoms.... until I have so many pills to take in the morning that there's no room for breakfast. Hope doctor/psychologist can give me the right care to identify and fight my symptoms.

- Trust the bong, and hope I can find a way to identify times where my emotional state is changing and how I can make this work with the rest of my lifestyle (as in, what do I do if my dog dies and I'm at work).

- Mix and match, don't trust anyone. Keep written evidence of my mental state and learn to identify changes and what drugs are (and likely to be) in my system at the time. Work out what does what and do my own thing - sometimes following the doctor's advice, and other times going against this.

 

I know the third option probably seems the most reasonable, and it even sounds like a 'stacked deck of 2 bad options and 1 good' but I thought I'd point out that it isn't. As it's been mentioned, medicating yourself can be risky with no reward - it can be more damaging than no treatment at all.... but I think I will end up going with that option, once the mental dust clears a bit.

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I guess this is the reason most threads looking for medical advice get locked.

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Seroquel does mess with people at the start- I've been hospitalised enough times to see other people on it...I'm pretty sure I would've been on it at some stage, too- my history is diverse! Was "bi-polar" at one stage...was on meds and all...now I'm 'correctly' (I think its true) diagnosed as 'schizo-affective'...mind you, I kept smoking a lot of weed long after the original diagnosis, so who knows? (And that whole diagnosis period ranged from depression in high school 20 years ago...)

 

Anyways, the name is not important, as someone else said- just learn how to live with whatever is thrown at you. If you are concerned about the medication side of treatment, speak to your doctor/s. The suggestions of good diet and exercise are right on the money, too. Especially since you might find the drugs help pack the weight on, unfortunately.

 

An enjoyable life and being 'acceptable to society' are well and truly possible...but be prepared for things to take a while!!! There will be ups and downs, and finding the right medication/life balance for you will likely take a lot of that time. But with the right people around you and a strong resolve from yourself, you will prevail.

 

But yeah, I'm gonna be a party-pooper and suggest you lay off weed for a while. It won't hurt to do so, and the benefits could be massive. They might not be, but there's only one way to find out, yeah? I haven't smoked for over five years now, which is a MASSIVE step from where I was. Probably best to lay off the booze (in large amounts, anyway) too, med's and booze can make ugly partners. I can now go out for a night with the boys no problem, but a) I'm probably a bit of an idiot in that regard and b) you have to learn, slowly, what is a sensible level for you.

 

Whatever you do, DO NOT self-medicate with the prescribed medications. You have been given a specific dose for a reason. If it is affecting you negatively, speak with your doctor- if they are half-decent they will work with you on this- it's YOU taking the drugs, not them, so always talk with them. Never stop the med's suddenly, unless your doctor advises you to do that. Usually, these medications require a tapering off period if they are to be stopped. Also give them time to help- one of the medications I am currently on, started working quite quickly, but I was advised I would not get full benefit for about 12 months...which would have been about right- I've been on it since '07 (sometime around then anyway)

 

If you ever have questions or want to share experiences, PM me

 

Good luck with your journey

Stu

 

Wow, cheers for that reply :) I was hoping someone would actually share their story.

 

You're right, the name and my, self imposed, identity crisis aren't important... I just need to work out what works and what doesn't.

 

I'm taking a break from pot (and all fun drugs) at the moment... especially as I'm still settling into the seroquel.

 

And yep, I know not to mess with the dosages of the prescription drugs. The seroquel I'm being given initially is small though... it's mainly to observe any adverse reactions for a few weeks. If the drowsiness persists I might go back and ask for options though... I was hoping to hear from someone else that takes it though, to see if it's more than just drowsiness... I actually feel stoned without the euphoria... kinda like being sleepy except all the lights are on upstairs.

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