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Embarrassing Simple Things You Dont Know How to Do

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also, formal greetings with the kiss on the cheek thing.

Hand lightly on the opposite shoulder from a single kiss on the cheek, which is actually basically just a cheek touch, no lip contact required. You can turn the hand on the shoulder to a hug if you know them well.

 

Brits and Europeans do two kisses, one on each cheek.

 

 

I can't do pretty much any maintainance to an engine more complicated than a two stroke.

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I always have to run through the alphabet, if some one asks, or I simply need to know, what comes

after a particular letter.

A.B.C.D is cool, no problems there ... it's when I get into the middle area that's tricky ;)

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I also have NFI how to tie a tie. Only own one, have NFI where it is and don't really care, and manage 99% of the time to duck or avoid wearing it when whatever situation requires it.

 

Even worse I used to tie a mean tie. A thing of beauty. Then last time I was called on to do so I realised I had completely forgotten the skill. Tried for 30 minutes and just couldn't do it. I seem to have a hole in my brain.

Edited by hlass

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That's easy, quantify it... you know how long a football field is right? Well that's 100 metres, 90 metres for American football.

Asking geeks how long a football field is let alone visualise one is assuming the wrong geeks. im mildly displeased that it is assumed "Everyone" knows how long a football field is and this example is drummed up everytime someone asks.

also, is this AFL, Soccer, or some other type of football.

 

I do not know how to weld.

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There's plenty on the bike I don't know how to do. Luckily there's a shop nearby that's happy to do that for me most of the time, and I'm happy to support their business financially in return, so there's no real shame there.

 

Knots, yes, shameful, as both my parents were in the SES. Anyone looked through the "C" (now Brisbane Southern) group photo album, you'll see shots of me at a very young age (and some of a time slightly before my birth … yes, my father was responsible for a pregnant rescue leader). I can do some basic knots (I mean real basic), but don't expect me to be able to identify them for you.

 

I can judge distances moderately well, but I'm not terrific at it. I wouldn't have a clue how big a football field is.

 

I'm reasonably good at trying to research a problem. A lot of this was due to me learning to use Linux. Back in 1996 we didn't have a permanent 24 hour Internet connection. I also didn't know about newsgroups or IRC. My reference was books, you know, dead trees that were printed on and stuck together. Primitive I know, they weren't even hyperlinked!

 

In addition to being reasonably capable of reading, I'm also still able to write with reasonable legibility. Not the neatest, but better than others I observe.

 

Posted Image

is an example of a technical drawing I did describing a headset adaptor schematic for one of my radios.

Edited by Redhatter

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That's easy, quantify it... you know how long a football field is right? Well that's 100 metres, 90 metres for American football.

Asking geeks how long a football field is let alone visualise one is assuming the wrong geeks. im mildly displeased that it is assumed "Everyone" knows how long a football field is and this example is drummed up everytime someone asks.

also, is this AFL, Soccer, or some other type of football.

 

I do not know how to weld.

 

Football field was the first analogy, pretty much anything that isn't an oval is about 100 metres. Rugby Union/Leauge, Football [soccer], American Football if you count the end zones, etc are all about the same length as they all come from the same sport originally. Someone else said swimming pool, well that's either 25 metres or 50 metres if it's a proper half olympic/olympic pool. I guess you're right though, the only sport a lot of geeks would understand is LAN games, especially on a forum like this. That's the thing though, I don't qualify myself as being a real geek.

Edited by i_am_banned

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As I tuck lovingly into this curried egg sandwich I bought from the bakery, I just remebered that I STILL dont know how to make curried egg. I know that its simple - Im guessing its just scramble with curry powder but Im not sure.

 

Terrible right?

 

Is there anything simple that you dont know how to do but been too embarrassed at bringing it up? Or something simple you wouldnt know if it weren't for the almighty google?

It's hard boiled eggs, some mayo for consistency and curry powder, salt and pepper to taste. Egg salad sandwich is the same thing with no curry powder.

 

+1 to writing neatly. If I write things in a rush I sometimes can't read it later.

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I can't gauge distnace distance. Like you know how people look at something in front of them and say "yep that's about 150 meters away." I can't do that. I have nfi how long 150 meters yes or recognize it as opposed to say 100 meters.

That's easy, quantify it... you know how long a football field is right? Well that's 100 metres, 90 metres for American football.

 

As for myself, I still forget my left and right sometimes until I gain my bearings again. I didn't learn to tie my shoes laces until I was about 10 or 11, and I never worked out gladwrap until i was about 18 odd...

 

Assuming you're talking about soccer here, an aussie rules footy ground is more than 100m.

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That's easy, quantify it... you know how long a football field is right? Well that's 100 metres, 90 metres for American football.

Asking geeks how long a football field is let alone visualise one is assuming the wrong geeks. im mildly displeased that it is assumed "Everyone" knows how long a football field is and this example is drummed up everytime someone asks.

also, is this AFL, Soccer, or some other type of football.

 

I do not know how to weld.

 

Football field was the first analogy, pretty much anything that isn't an oval is about 100 metres. Rugby Union/Leauge, Football [soccer], American Football if you count the end zones, etc are all about the same length as they all come from the same sport originally. Someone else said swimming pool, well that's either 25 metres or 50 metres if it's a proper half olympic/olympic pool. I guess you're right though, the only sport a lot of geeks would understand is LAN games, especially on a forum like this. That's the thing though, I don't qualify myself as being a real geek.

 

I play a game called jugger, the field is 45m long and 20m wide.

i play on it every weekend and visualising that distance is still not easy. however there are other measurements and guages like street lamps, fence posts that you can multiply to estimate distance.

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I can't gauge distnace distance. Like you know how people look at something in front of them and say "yep that's about 150 meters away." I can't do that. I have nfi how long 150 meters yes or recognize it as opposed to say 100 meters.

That's easy, quantify it... you know how long a football field is right? Well that's 100 metres, 90 metres for American football.

 

As for myself, I still forget my left and right sometimes until I gain my bearings again. I didn't learn to tie my shoes laces until I was about 10 or 11, and I never worked out gladwrap until i was about 18 odd...

 

Assuming you're talking about soccer here, an aussie rules footy ground is more than 100m.

 

Yeah, AFL generally makes do with cricket fields as it was originally a sport designed to keep cricketers fit in the off season as far as I'm aware. I am well north of the magical AFL line in the sand though.

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As I tuck lovingly into this curried egg sandwich I bought from the bakery, I just remebered that I STILL dont know how to make curried egg. I know that its simple - Im guessing its just scramble with curry powder but Im not sure.

 

Terrible right?

 

Is there anything simple that you dont know how to do but been too embarrassed at bringing it up? Or something simple you wouldnt know if it weren't for the almighty google?

It's hard boiled eggs, some mayo for consistency and curry powder, salt and pepper to taste. Egg salad sandwich is the same thing with no curry powder.

 

+1 to writing neatly. If I write things in a rush I sometimes can't read it later.

 

I do the same but include cream in place of some of the mayo.

 

 

I'm a car person but I totally suck at telling the difference between modern holdens or fords without looking at a badge. Might help that I hate the fucking shit out of both modern models from both makes, but still I find it inhumanly difficult. But more likely a lack of care contributes.

 

Also I cannot open a beer with the edge of a table, or with my eye socket.

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There are an incalculable number of things I don't know how to do, simply because I've never needed to so I've never thought about how it might be achieved. The only things I can think of that I intellectually know how to do but don't in practise are the skills: playing an instrument, drawing/painting etc.

 

Then, of course, there's the issue of things I could do, once, but of which I am now incapable. Like running. :P

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Apparently I can't:

* Do a load of washing properly

* Hang clothes on the line properly

* Stack the Dishwasher

* Do the groceries

* Put the groceries away

* Fold my clothes and put them away

 

And a whole bunch more. I follow Ray Romano's train of idea: Do something bad enough and the wife will do it for me :p

 

I can't think of anything typical I can't do.. Actually, like redhatter I can't tie proper knots. It honestly is something I keep meaning to learn. I being a cub and scout, I used to know how but it's a skill I lost through lack of use.

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My writing is abominable, I too blame technology :)

 

Many years ago in the pre-email era a friend I lost contact with then re-found once wrote to me and said I love getting letters from you and I'm sure your handwriting is very reflective of your character but I can't read it half the time. I went and bought a typewriter :)

 

I suppose, that aside there is very little I can't turn my hand to, but I sure can't service, or even try to service, modern cars :)

 

As for pi, it's 22 divided by 7 but it is also what any good calculator has built in to more than enough accuracy for government work :)

 

None of us can be good at everything, one of my brothers runs rings around me at painting another can weld up a shed whilst I''m still cutting the metal, but neither could assemble a computer :)

 

Cheers

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As for pi, it's 22 divided by 7 but it is also what any good calculator has built in to more than enough accuracy for government work :)

Thats the dodge way of remember 3.141592654 :P

 

Pi is calculated by the circumference of a circle being divided by its diameter

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stuartl@beast ~/hanoicalc $ perl hanoicalc.pl 
HanoiCalc 0.0.1

Copyright (C) 2009, Stuart Longland <redhatter@gentoo.org>

This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify
it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
the Free Software Foundation version 2.

This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.  See the
GNU General Public License for more details.

HC> 22
TOS: 22.0000000
HC> 7
TOS: 7.0000000
HC> /
Elements divided
TOS: 3.1428571
HC> pi
Pi fraction pushed
TOS: 3.1415927
HC>

Indeed, I'll stick to circumference on diameter. (And yes, this calculator is RPN.) Another one though:

 

HC> 1
TOS: 1.0000000
HC> atan
Arctangent of elements calculated.
TOS: 785.3981634m
HC> 4
TOS: 4.0000000
HC> *
Elements multiplied
TOS: 3.1415927
HC>

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I can't tie knots, but I can tie lots.

 

I can't tell cardinal points without a compass. Not even with a vague sense of accuracy.

 

-X

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:)

 

 

Yes, I know what Pi is, but it's in my HP calculators, so who cares :)

 

Cheers

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I can't cook rice properly, I fuck it up every single time without fail, so much so that I don't bother any more, I just cook couscous instead.

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