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Leonid

Free. At last. With extra drama

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Im happy to see your taking this so well Leo...

 

Im surprised you didnt do more. Definately not saying its the right thing to do... But i can completely understand and relate to your motivations...

 

I am the same when it comes to trust. Something not easily given should never be betrayed

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As I said, it's happened to me, more than once.

 

My first wife we were together 4 years, then married 11 months - she proposed to me actually. She had an affair behind my back then simply disappeared for half a week, no note, no nothing. After another day, more worried about her than anything else, I called her sister who came straight down, she knew nothing either.

 

We called the school she worked at, I had tried that but even though I was her husband she had apparently told the receptionist if I called that she had had to substitute for another teacher on a field trip. Those at that school never lasted more than 3 days which is why half a week slipped by. Her sister was much more subtle, just asked to speak to the principal concerning sending her child to the school.

 

She had been there working the whole time, just not coming home, going off with another teacher, a supposed friend of both of us and staying in a Hotel.

 

Her Sister was put through to her and told her to come to her place that evening then we went there.

 

She was shocked to find me there, broke down and confessed.

 

Her sister rang her parents and they asked if I, not she would come over. I did.

 

I was given quite the grilling but it was no fault of mine. Her mother called her and the confession was repeated. I stayed the night.

 

The next day her father and I, he was a small lot farmer, went out and rounded up some cattle to take our minds of it, had dinner, she disappeared again, I went home.

 

The divorce request by her was of course inevitable, and her new partner, it didn't last long, divorced as well - that was the part that hurt, they had two beautiful small kids.

 

Until the day they died I remained friends with her parents but I only ever saw her once again, in a restaurant with the new partner, they saw me and immediately left.

 

I could go on, and the circumstances were different, but I understand why Leo did what he did.

 

Cheers

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People are not so far removed from dogs that they can't use a rolled-up newspaper to the nose when they've done wrong.

LOL !!

 

OJ, I'm so going to use that quote some day.... :) So many times I would like to approach twats with a rolled up newspaper.

 

Leonid lovely, I think you have every right to seek a bit of gentle revenge, especially if it assists you with sorting out the finances fairly. Don't get mad, get even. Besides, I don't believe you are the type of person who would take it so far as to completely destroy someone. Yay to freedom !

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Ugh. "Revenge"

 

People who make themselves feel better by making others feel worse -- whatever the context -- make me despair.

 

So you just walked away? Didn't even say anything mean to her or about her?

 

Because that's not a good thing mate... you were had, taken for a ride and dropped off a cliff.

Hurting someone who hurt you doesn't negate the damage done. No-one should need to hurt someone else in order to heal themselves.

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chrisg..thats a sad tale :( makes me think the gays might be onto something when i read such sad stories about women..

 

but i couldnt help but think " How old is this guy" ?

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Leonid may have been going for "revenge" but he was also setting the record straight.

 

No one cant fault Leonid on that, his actions were fair enough.

 

Afterall, who cares anyway? Why should Leonid roll over like a bitch instead of putting the truth out there? Cheating scumbags will usually bend the story to everyone they know.

 

The people passing armchair judgement in this thread are the ones that need to get some perspective.

Edited by sm1ddy

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chrisg..thats a sad tale :( makes me think the gays might be onto something when i read such sad stories about women..

 

but i couldnt help but think " How old is this guy" ?

 

:)

 

Me?

 

59 in August :)

 

Cheers

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Just head out in and around Newtown. I can suggest The Imperial...you may even find the love of your life there.

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I don't really condone revenge

 

but to me this doesn't sound like 'revenge' so much as a dude getting what was his to begin with.

I really aren't qualified to comment any further than that considering the only guy here who knows the proper story is Leo.

Still, it's pretty cool to see someone walk from something like this without getting anus raped.

 

Good work on making life take the lemons back Leo, I hope things go well for you

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There are a few people with custom titles. It's not as special as it used to be.

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There are a few people with custom titles. It's not as special as it used to be.

Like the lady says, don't make me make you regret pointing that shit out. I'll go Van Gogh/Mr Blue on your arse.

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There are a few people with custom titles. It's not as special as it used to be.

So it seems...

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What's that saying...?

 

"Italian is a dish best served cold"...?

 

No, that can't be it.

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I have a few comments and questions.

 

1. Was the laptop in question owned by the wife or was it jointly owned? If it was jointly owned, I can see no problem with accessing the info on there, even if it was deleted.

 

2. Defamation is unlawful. However, a complete defence to defamation is truth. Saying stuff about people that's true is lawful. Mind you, if someone sues you for defamation, you need to prove the truth of the matter. By the sounds of it, Leo has enough to prove truth. That means that Leo's disclosure to the family - assuming it only contained entirely true material - was completely lawful. Particularly if it consisted of logs of conversations that the wife had actually had.

 

3. I don't think that revenge is generally a good idea. The issue with revenge is that inflames tensions and doesn't always resolve things. However, you can't change what's been done in the past and I won't crap on about how stupid Leo's decision to tell the family was. In the circumstances, I don't think that Leo's response was all that irrational. I certainly would have handled things differently and not bothered with the revenge as it would have been pointless and created needless conflict, but to each their own, as long as they're not doing anything wrong. I don't think Leo's done anything wrong here.

 

On the plus side, Leo, you're now single mate! Enjoy it while it lasts! ;)

 

BTW I take it you've consulted a solicitor in relation to the separation agreement? It sounds like you have. If not, though, feel free to PM me if you want me to point you in the direction of firms that do family law in NSW. These things are too important to do yourself or stuff up. :)

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It's a LONG story Leo and not something I'm inclined to get into on an open forum.

 

If you really want to know, I'll PM you the cliff notes version but yeah, I've never gotten a penny back from her nor do I ever expect to.

 

Lick your wounds, chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on.

So you just walked away? Didn't even say anything mean to her or about her?

 

Because that's not a good thing mate... you were had, taken for a ride and dropped off a cliff.

 

 

As I said before Leo, it's a long and complicated story and that was not the end of it.

 

That was more like the midway point.

 

Regardless, I stand by what I said before, revenge accomplishes much of nothing and involving her family accomplished less than nothing.

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First thing that comes to mind is your Bali story... if only you had a time machine to go back and tell your then-self to do it!

Edited by freespace

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That sure was a bit of drama, but it's good you found out now, rather than later.

I hope your mood stays buoyant throughout your new-found singledom.

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There are a few people with custom titles. It's not as special as it used to be.

But don't you want to know the story behind Leonid's?

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1. Was the laptop in question owned by the wife or was it jointly owned? If it was jointly owned, I can see no problem with accessing the info on there

Complicated answer. I bought it for her as a replacement for an acer one that stopped working in Italy. Under the separation agreement, as of June 28th it was hers. She asked me to look at it on the 29th and the skype account I accessed was under her name but with my credit card details. Having said this - we'd always shared everything... She and I knew each others' passwords.

 

I talked to a cop mate of mine - she could potentially sue me for breach of privacy but he says it's just not worth it as I was not seeking financial gain nor was I seeking to use the information for corporate interest purposes.

 

Also she'd spend more money on lawyer fees than she could hope to win.... We're not talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars here.

 

 

Ugh. "Revenge"

 

People who make themselves feel better by making others feel worse -- whatever the context -- make me despair.

 

So you just walked away? Didn't even say anything mean to her or about her?

 

Because that's not a good thing mate... you were had, taken for a ride and dropped off a cliff.

Hurting someone who hurt you doesn't negate the damage done. No-one should need to hurt someone else in order to heal themselves.

 

Mate, all I can tell you is that until you've gone through what I have, you won't know.

 

My wife wanted to be a chef. I told her to quit her job and enroll in tafe. That was in June last year. Since that point she hasn't worked and I carried the mortgage on my back working two jobs, while funding her. Then she wanted to go to Italy despite the fact that we'd agreed to try for kids. I ponied up 10k euro + $3k in flights to get her there - I spent 2 weeks eating a meal a day because of the cost of the final installment. Then for the next three months she averaged 300 euro a week in spending money while I was trying to save for my chance to see her.

 

In the meantime she was rooting another guy.

 

I slaved my ass off for this girl to get what she wanted out of life. There was one period where I worked four straight days with only 2.5 hours sleep because the overtime money could come in useful.

 

On top of that, during our separation of the last two months I still paid for everything, including the mortgage and split the rest of my income in half so she'd have some money for her new life without waiting for settlement. Right now, I am literally broke because of that.

 

And then I found out that she had cheated on me and was still using my money via the cc card on Skype to do it.

 

If you can walk away from that and not want to get back a little of your own, you are not human.

 

First thing that comes to mind is your Bali story... if only you had a time machine to go back and tell your then-self to do it!

My biggest regret is the fact that I could've, should not have and didn't.

 

No matter, I'm in Russia in 3 weeks and I'm staying with the girl in question. She feels the same way about our meeting, also can't stop thinking about it.

 

Could be rose colored glasses - or it mightn't be but if I don't go, I will never know and that would simply eat away at me for the rest of my life.

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Post pics of the new girl.

Yes please just the smile and eyes that got you :P

 

You handled it well mate, Are you still contracting or running your own business?

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Actually Leo I would think that your (non)actions in Thailand will give you a fair whack of cred with your new lass.

 

Best of luck.

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