Jump to content
Can't remember your login details? Read more... ×
Leonid

Free. At last. With extra drama

Recommended Posts

What's that saying...?

 

"Italian is a dish best served cold"...?

 

No, that can't be it.

Gaspatcho? Icecream sundae?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First thing that comes to mind is your Bali story... if only you had a time machine to go back and tell your then-self to do it!

My biggest regret is the fact that I could've, should not have and didn't.

 

No matter, I'm in Russia in 3 weeks and I'm staying with the girl in question. She feels the same way about our meeting, also can't stop thinking about it.

 

Could be rose colored glasses - or it mightn't be but if I don't go, I will never know and that would simply eat away at me for the rest of my life.

 

Mate, go get her :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh. "Revenge"

 

People who make themselves feel better by making others feel worse -- whatever the context -- make me despair.

 

So you just walked away? Didn't even say anything mean to her or about her?

 

Because that's not a good thing mate... you were had, taken for a ride and dropped off a cliff.

Hurting someone who hurt you doesn't negate the damage done. No-one should need to hurt someone else in order to heal themselves.

 

Mate, all I can tell you is that until you've gone through what I have, you won't know.

I've been through my fair share. It's ludicrous to try to compare one person's relationship dramas with another's, given how intensely personal and subjective they can be, but I think it's fair to say I've had to put up with a fuck-ton more than you in that regard. And no, I haven't always handled it well, but I've learnt over time how to handle things better.

 

And then I found out that she had cheated on me and was still using my money via the cc card on Skype to do it.

...which you found out after violating her trust. You can't use that to justify your actions given that you didn't know about it at the time.

 

If you can walk away from that and not want to get back a little of your own, you are not human.

Wanting is different to pursuing.

 

I was pretty miserable in a lot of ways, for a lot of reasons, and for a long time after my first marriage. Part of what helped me come to terms with my decision not to seek revenge was a decision I made for myself. I decide that I was not going to let the actions of my ex dictate my own morality. Whatever she did, I always acted according to what I thought was right. Damned if I was going to let her change me. Looking back now, I'm very, very glad I did that. It's been a bloody long road, but I'm a much better person. So is my ex, and my children are benefitting from it. I know that's not something that you need to take into consideration, but I'm still glad that I can look back and say that I acted with integrity throughout, even when it seemed like no-one else was.

 

My biggest regret is the fact that I could've, should not have and didn't.

Don't regret that. You did the right thing. Go into your next relationship knowing that you're someone who will act respectfully towards your partner, even when things aren't going the best. Leave your last relationship knowing that, whatever other mistakes you may have made to contribute to its eventual demise, cheating on your wife wasn't one of them.

 

No matter, I'm in Russia in 3 weeks and I'm staying with the girl in question. She feels the same way about our meeting, also can't stop thinking about it.

 

Could be rose colored glasses - or it mightn't be but if I don't go, I will never know and that would simply eat away at me for the rest of my life.

Have fun, but keep in mind the dangers of rebound relationships (says the guy who just celebrated the 4th anniversary of his "rebound" marriage).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People are not so far removed from dogs that they can't use a rolled-up newspaper to the nose when they've done wrong.

LOL !!

 

OJ, I'm so going to use that quote some day.... :) So many times I would like to approach twats with a rolled up newspaper.

 

It's all yours, take it and run with it : ).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Looks like karma ran over her dogma and she's left with the road-kill.

 

The Skype account: you were paying you have every right to access it under the T&Cs associated.

 

Live your life Leo, after all it is YOURS to live.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On ya Leo

 

Don't feel like you have to justify your actions to these chumps

 

 

BTW I take it you've consulted a solicitor in relation to the separation agreement?

Emjay is a separation agreement like a pre-nup, where if it's found the person signed it under duress it's void?

 

I simply told her that I'd spend however much money in court to make sure I got more - she had no money

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't let an amoral girl drag you down to her level because she will beat you with experience.

 

Every ending is also a new beginning. Whether the new beginning is a beautiful thing, or a crawl through the swamp, is in the hands of the participants.

 

Be the beginning that you want to experience.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That sucks dude. You've really handled the whole situation well by the sounds of things though, and best of luck moving forward (not that it sounds like you need it)!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't get the mentality in this thread.

 

Leonid was in a relationship that had gone sour long before he broke up with his missus, read some of his other threads and you get a general picture of how things are, yet you expect him to be sad when he finally got rid of the thing making his life hard?

 

Not everyone handles things the same, everyone handles shit different and this is no exception, revenge is sweet, yada yada yada, GG Leonid.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Skype account: you were paying you have every right to access it under the T&Cs associated.

Wrong.

T&Cs don't just negate laws in the jurisdiction in which an offense might be carried out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just spoke to a lawyer friend.

 

Yeah - what I did bordered on illegal. It also doesn't matter. No court of law is going to bother with this, at most I'll get a slap on the wrist.

 

The lawyer fees will be higher than any potential gain so why bother?

 

Call it one of those situations where applying the law generates more paperwork than the good it achieves (kind of like NSW's $44 fine for jaywalking)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just spoke to a lawyer friend.

 

Yeah - what I did bordered on illegal. It also doesn't matter. No court of law is going to bother with this, at most I'll get a slap on the wrist.

 

The lawyer fees will be higher than any potential gain so why bother?

 

Call it one of those situations where applying the law generates more paperwork than the good it achieves (kind of like NSW's $44 fine for jaywalking)

It depends doesn't it?

 

I'm not going to have a go at you for doing what you did, but just like you can react emotionally to something like that, someone could react really badly to you sending that stuff to their parents, and depending on how far they can/are willing to push it, make your life difficult.

 

Some people will use their skills in a vindictive fashion.

Otherwise without those skills might try and push other avenues.

 

Keep it in mind for "next time" :P~

 

People can be real shits, especially when it's an acrimonious split.

Better to accept that shit happened, and cover your arse, imho.

 

In the same position, assuming I'd already invaded her privacy (which I'm not convinced I'd do, but then I'm not in your position), I would make the accusations or whatever, but not forward any proof of my actions to a third party, especially one related to her.

 

But hey, difficult situations and hind-sight.

 

I'm glad to hear you are (now) feeling pretty zen about it.

Let it fade, and just be a lesson to you, but don't forget how to trust others.

 

Good luck in Russia!

 

EDIT: And I'm sure you've got this covered, but don't be one of those guys that complains about their exes all the time. :) Just enjoy where you are now.

Edited by TinBane

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×