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Centrelink comedians

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A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

 

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

 

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his new Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.

And, this is rather awkward to say, but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy

her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

 

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."

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It's funny because they don't contribute to society.

no they just contribute to the pokies at local pubs, the cigaret counter at the shops and the local bottle shop.

 

so technically the money wasted just recirculates.

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As someone who's currently on newstart because of mental health, and who finds the treatment of people on welfare by the public in general to be rather shitty, largely due to the way shows like Today Tonight and ACA like to daemonise all welfare recipients as dole bludgers, I just have one thing to say...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I lol'd

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Meh,

 

Possibly due to the fact that I've had a fucking crappy day and can't be bothered to get humor at this time.

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Meh,

 

Possibly due to the fact that I've had a fucking crappy day and can't be bothered to get humor at this time.

Welcome to the life of resetting passwords all day

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Meh,

 

Possibly due to the fact that I've had a fucking crappy day and can't be bothered to get humor at this time.

Welcome to the life of resetting passwords all day

 

And getting a laptop ready to send out, only to find at the last minute, it suffers a head crash. And then you have to start all over again.

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Reminds me of Sharon (or Shazza) who walked into Centrelink claiming child benefits.

The person processing the form called her in to check some of the details.

 

"You've written Darren 10 times for each of your children, is this right ?"

"Yeah - I got 10 boys, they're all called Darren."

"How does that work ?"

"Well it saves time - Darren ! Bedtime ! and they all go to bed."

"What if you wanted to talk to one individually ?"

"Then I use his surname."

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Reminds me of Sharon (or Shazza) who walked into Centrelink claiming child benefits.

The person processing the form called her in to check some of the details.

 

"You've written Darren 10 times for each of your children, is this right ?"

"Yeah - I got 10 boys, they're all called Darren."

"How does that work ?"

"Well it saves time - Darren ! Bedtime ! and they all go to bed."

"What if you wanted to talk to one individually ?"

"Then I use his surname."

 

love it!

:D

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Reminds me of Sharon (or Shazza) who walked into Centrelink claiming child benefits.

The person processing the form called her in to check some of the details.

 

"You've written Darren 10 times for each of your children, is this right ?"

"Yeah - I got 10 boys, they're all called Darren."

"How does that work ?"

"Well it saves time - Darren ! Bedtime ! and they all go to bed."

"What if you wanted to talk to one individually ?"

"Then I use his surname."

I could see it coming, but I still laughed...

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