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scruffy1

too much connection

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okay, so i'm an old and sometimes grumpy bastard, but this issue has finally compelled me to document my dissent with the current obscene trend of phone addiction

 

yes, i see men doing it too, but women seem far more inclined to gaze into the tiny screen like it's a mirror substitute (and it might be)

 

these are things i witnessed in the last several days :

 

- p plate girlie driver attempting to surreptitiously text in slow moving traffic in an unsafe situation, making it worse by essentially driving looking down at her passenger seat all the while

- lady walking with her partner along the beachfront promenade on a beautiful autumn morning, engrossed in her i-thing as the world shines brightly around her

- young mum with infant in stroller staring up at her trying to make eye contact while mum surfs facepage obliviously, more inclined to check whether someone "likes" her while her offspring is trying to be noticed adoring her

- people (usually younger women) crossing roads / walking on crowded paths / being in spaces that require some modicum of awareness - all with their faces addictively planted on to some small screen

- girls at the local park with their dog, leaving it to defecate in a public area (invoking the wrath of non-dog owners and responsible dog people alike when they get to step in it, instead of tidying up as per area requirements)

 

 

let's face it, i'm a bigger internet whore that 99% of the public, but once i eventually prise my arse out of the aeron and into the great outdoors, it is unusual that i even bother to take my phone unless i am expecting an urgent call about urgent things - like, time critical medical test reports, or the need to be available for my offspring per pre-arranged considerations

 

 

the real world is to my assessment seemingly irrelevant to these sad bastards who live constantly in their pitiful cyber-world, as the beatles so eloquently noted "making all their nowhere plans for nobody"

 

it's nice to stay in touch

 

i like to get emails, and when i finally notice them, to reply in my own considered fashion, and look forward o a reply

 

not look into my inbox for that reply until it happens, generating mounting angst each nanosecond it hasn't on the presumption that my importance as a human is diminished should i not receive an instantaneous response

 

it annoys me when patients in the midst of a consult might choose to answer their phone rather than help me stop them being dead by taking part in the diagnostic process - i will happily say "answer it if it's important" if they look embarrassed while trying to ignore it, because i don't know it isn't really important (though they can ring back, as i know they are unlikely on-call)

 

it really annoys me if they answer a text as i am talking to them, and it must equally annoy the myriad people i see constantly in the world who are snubbed the moment an electronic contact essentially butts in on a real time actual human interaction as if the miracle of cordless communication usurps every other pre-existing communication without any effort to recognise there is no reason it should

 

 

 

in my darker moments, i invented a baby head band that holds an i-phone so mum can read her texts while the baby innocently thinks she is looking into their little face full of parental wonder (but decided kids with a mum like that don't need a brain tumour from the radiation, and the required medical interventions later might interfere with mum's more important occupation as facepage whore)

 

i wonder if these women prefer sex doggie style so they can see the i-thing on their pillow without the tedium of his head in the way as he thrusts if she has to hold it as they go missionary

 

 

yes, i know i don't have to have a phone, but the unavoidable ubiquity of phone addicts is disturbing, and i'm already disturbed enough

 

 

 

humans are curious creatures, and largely can't ignore possible responses to their own output

 

but it would be great if they could take a breather from the constant white noise of inane feedback

 

 

 

that'll do

 

soon i'll go to the beach and sit on my boogie board staring at the horizon between burst of going "wheeeee..." and noting that thankfully no-one feels compelled to carry a phone behind the break

 

 

 

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Heh,

 

Could not agree more, a couple of weeks ago I had a girl completely oblivious looking at her phone step straight out in front of me as I was driving to the shops. If I had not seen her and suspected she was going to do just that I'd definitely have hit her. As it was I only just stopped, and scared the shit out of her.

 

Cheers

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Try the university prescinct near Canberra city. 40km/h speed limit but still doesn't stop the idiots with a death wish ignorantly walking onto the road without checking.

 

Walking around most places these days it's just as bad. These people are so ignorant they can't be bothered walking the 2 or 3 metres so they're out of the moving part of the sidewalk or shopping mall aisle. But I suppose at least they've stopped in their tracks, it's the ones that remain mobile whilst on the mobile that are the real hazard.

Then you have the attention-whore types who think it's still the mid 1990s, talk loudly and otherwise act in such a way to let everyone around know they have one of those new fangled expensive mobile phone thingies.

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When i am using the O-Bahn in Adelaide everyone is on their mobiles ,even the driver when he gets on the tracks.

 

I even saw a old lady using a mobile phone ,no idea what for. But she was typing something really long.

 

Mobile phones are a bane on society.

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"Likes" Scruffy's post. :P

 

But yeah, we see it all the time, we've raised junior so it's never been an issue and he's aware of the problems as well. Ok we gave him an old one recently cos I need to know when to pick him up from TAFE but he srsly doesn't even look at it between times, I even have to nag him to keep it charged. My fatherly advice includes avoiding women who are iZombies. And so often we are out somewhere and something really great is happening and the majority of people there miss it completely cos they are too busy recording it on their phone so they can watch it on a screen later..........ffs.

 

At least we got a new ship full of psychological disorders out of it.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberpsychology

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I agree Scruffy.

 

Take the bus and count how many are not looking at a phone or have earbuds in their ears. It's usually very few.

 

Facebook is the other thing I sorta don't like. I'm always missing out on stuff, "Oh, i wrote it on Facebook" or "I sent you a message on Facebook". I don't use Facebook all that much it, maybe logg in a few times a month. Hell, even my wife mentions it - "You never write anything about us on Facebook".

 

Fucking Facebook :P

Edited by smakme7757
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hahahaha

 

facepage is not on my radar

 

my 21yo daughter uses it (not constantly), and i grudgingly approve as i am vicariously aware of the lives of my nieces and good (mutual) friends who are too rude to email me occasionally

 

mark fuckerberg will rot in hell, and it will be ironically good for his app when i get to see it streamed un-live should i outlast the man, as even i would have to subscribe just to give it a +1

 

 

 

the web is both a boon as the prelude to a unitary world (governments are not the world, people are) and the bane of my existence when vast zillions of ignorami completely miss the point and somehow (my guess, incurable narcissism) makes them think it is all about them

 

i have so many amazing contacts the world over that i might never have otherwise got to interact with, and these people think that "connection" is both being concerned about kim kardashian's arse (that's kanye west, for the uninformed)

 

 

fuck the internet, it is too amazing

 

 

edit (i missed a bit) :

 

earbuds ! fuck them too !!

 

how bad would it be to talk to real humans near you, or endure the horror of birdsong or wind or surf or even (god forbid) relative silence

 

i would be somewhat sympathetic to your choice if you were grooving to a lossless flac of miles doing "flamenco sketches" through audiotechnica ad700's, but i would spew if it was some doof doof through dr dre at 64kbps, or wearing i-buds as some sort of bizarre ear nipples

 

it is my fantasy that when you aren't at home in a cocoon, you should bravely face the randomness of reality

 

you don't get to choose what happens, and the soundtrack isn't your playlist... perhaps you might discover something new that doesn't just reinforce the outrageously restrictive universe within which you avoid novel experience

 

 

 

aaaaaargh ! time for a movie of my own choosing, because our house doesn't "do" television just like i-people don't "do" the real world

Edited by scruffy1

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I hate having to use my phone around chibi. I can avoid it at home 99% of the time (I do wear her in wraps and carriers a lot, even at home, so if I do happen to need to use the phone and she's strapped to me, then it's somewhat unavoidable).
We've put a self-imposed ban on mobile devices (phones and tablets) at home - mobile phones stay on the kitchen bench (never in the living area or bedrooms) and tablets in kitchen area or computer room. The exception to this is if she's sleeping. We'd hate to think she was playing and we were ignoring her for the phone :-( And they do look at you quite a bit even when they're playing and distracted by other things; we hate the thought that she's looking up at us and we miss engaging with her because we're fiddling with a phone or tablet. Even the tv pretty much stays off when she's up (exception is playing music through the media centre).
Out and about, unforunately there are occasions when the phone comes out. Most of the time, if we're out on a walk or at the shops then she's in a carrier or wrap so I prefer not to use the phone if I can get away with it. There are a few exceptions; I don't wear a watch anymore because she's 7 months old and always squirming around and would likely get dinged up if I did, so I check the time on my phone. If I'm meeting someone and they text and I need to reply, then I do. That's about it, though.
I do still sometimes feel a flash of guilt when I do use my phone with her when we're out because I know how judgemental people can be. Nobody knows that I'm just checking the time because we need to be somewhere, or that I'm heading to a doctor's appointment with her and need to meet my husband so it's kinda important I let him know where we are, or that the text message I just sent was the first one in 3 weeks I've sent when I'm out with her and that I don't frivously text all the time. They just see a woman with a baby, maybe in a wrap or maybe in a pram, with her mum using her phone and thereby ignoring the baby.
I know what other people think of me shouldn't matter, but in things like this, it sometimes does, just a little bit. People can be so quick to judge but when you have a baby, people can be harsh. And contradictory, sometimes. But mostly just harsh.
In this, scruffy1, I don't think you're being old or grumpy :-) Maybe we're over-the-top with our self-imposed limitations but us not replying to things instantly hasn't stopped the world from turning yet :-p I definitely agree that society seems to hang off their devices too much.
And you know, there's a certain romance to thinking to yourself, "I wonder about [XYZ], I must remember to look that up later" and then having to remember to look it up later :-D

Facebook is the other thing I sorta don't like. I'm always missing out on stuff, "Oh, i wrote it on Facebook" or "I sent you a message on Facebook". I don't use Facebook all that much it, maybe logg in a few times a month. Hell, even my wife mentions it - "You never write anything about us on Facebook".

 

Fucking Facebook :P

I know what you mean! I avoided FB for years but succumbed a couple of years ago. I got tired of people drifting out of my life because they wouldn't return calls, messages or even emails. Eventually contact would just... stop. 3 years ago I did an intensive FT course and wanted to maintain contact with those who had become friends. Begrudgingly, I joined FB and it helped because even though there's miles of crap on there, I can still have contact with others and organise catch-ups. I hate that it's basically the only thing that has kept non-family people in my life.

 

Fucking Facebook :-p

 

edit:

how bad would it be to talk to real humans near you, or endure the horror of birdsong or wind or surf or even (god forbid) relative silence

hehehe having a baby helps with that :-) Whenever we go out, there's always someone willing to have a quick word, a smile or even a chat. Not necessarily to me :-p But it's nice, encountering all kinds of random people like that and getting to exchange a few words :-) I grew up in a small country town and I miss that have-a-chat mentality :-)

 

edit: this post brought to you via my desktop computer while my daughter sleeps in another room, just FYI :-p

Edited by elvenwhore

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i wrote a lot, and then waterfox crashed and it was lost

 

ah well, more of the same, but it felt good to let it out

 

 

quite independently, "open season" (the cartoon movie) was seriously amusing, and not just for kids... lots of great references for old people too (from an era when memes weren't products)

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I was teaching a class of about fifteen students yesterday. I peered at my ipad for about thirty seconds trying to locate a file for the class, and when I looked up about seven or eight students were texting on their phones. Whenever I'm taking a class myself, I switch it to airplane mode.

 

One thing I don't get is Candy Crush. I can only assume that people who play it have nothing better to do with their time and energy.

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only seven or eight ?

 

what gets me is that even when their entire attention should be fixed elsewhere, they will steal a glance at it the way an alcoholic takes a sly swig from a hip flask

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in my darker moments, i invented a baby head band that holds an i-phone so mum can read her texts while the baby innocently thinks she is looking into their little face full of parental wonder (but decided kids with a mum like that don't need a brain tumour from the radiation, and the required medical interventions later might interfere with mum's more important occupation as facepage whore)

 

 

Do you realise how much you could make out of that?

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in my darker moments, i invented a baby head band that holds an i-phone so mum can read her texts while the baby innocently thinks she is looking into their little face full of parental wonder (but decided kids with a mum like that don't need a brain tumour from the radiation, and the required medical interventions later might interfere with mum's more important occupation as facepage whore)

 

 

Do you realise how much you could make out of that?

 

 

not even vaguely, and my ethical considerations prevent me from even starting that journey

 

i am firmly of the belief that the link between mobile phones and brain tumours may well have some truth, and the same as i avoid x-rays and ct scans for my patients where there is no clear need to subject them to radiation, i sure as hell don't want to place small innocent and potentially most vulnerable victims into an experiment to help prove that phones cause brain cancer

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corrupted post again :\

 

edit: sorry scruffy meant to delete the whole thing

Edited by eveln

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ever had a conversation with someone where you can tell they arent really listening but instead just waiting to speak? i think we've all done it, and had it done to us.

 

 

i think this most often happens with a certain type of 'work friend'. its weird. you end up locked into a sort of bidirectional Stockholm syndrome because, in a way, youre held hostage to each others company. and whilst there may be no lack of respect, and not a smidge of dislike, youre not even slightly compatible as friends. so you enter into this bizarre contract where you accumulate an astounding amount of hours spouting your (sometimes candid) bullshit to them and in turn dutifully listening to theirs. and its advantageous for everyone involved to let themselves believe that the camaraderie of being in the trenches together, and sharing in hijinks at the Christmas party means something more than it does. but the telling moment comes when either you or they move on, and well, you honestly couldnt care less if you never see them again :D.

 

i think even true friendships and relationships can degenerate in a similar way, when you fall into rote behaviours and start taking each other for granted. i think everyone has a really lazy self-serving aspect of their nature that easily becomes addicted to those little 'zings' of positive reinforcement that you get from those people that like you, and laugh at your jokes. but much like how the coffee that i really need is the coffee that i barely ever taste, you can end up like zombies orbiting each other out of the habit of getting your fix, when neither party is stopping to eyeball each others soul and communicate fo' real in the present moment.

 

anyway, thats why i think facebook is shit. because it takes the tendancy i just described and injects it with a metric arseload of steroids. those little zings are now on tap -- they are called 'likes'. and if you string enough of them together you can keep yourself in a permanent haze, drugged up along with your drug buddies, who just like you, are most attached to reflected imaginings of the significance of those 'likes', because nothing gets you off quite like a surrogate relationship with your most insatiable self.

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No point worrying too much about people who face the great out doors with ear pluggs firmly implanted or

eyes down involved in i-machine, or both at once. It's the Darwin Award thing keeping pace with our ' progress '.

 

There be crazy everywhere. It's only a real problem when other randoms suffer for the self absorbed nature that

doesn't particularly care about their surroundings. Having said that, there's a young Melbourne mum who's now I think

permanently lost her young child to a piece of dirty scum child snatcher. ( go visit your news site )

I've no idea whether she was using an i-machine at the time ... so yeah crazy will get either way imo.

 

There are a multitude of ways to keep in touch with those you really want to. Sometimes it's definitely as @~thehung

most beautifully states, and other times fb and the like is the only way for some to keep an important, if remote

connection happening.

I am still not inclined to fb or the like. I'm still very much contactable if the urge is there.

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in my darker moments, i invented a baby head band that holds an i-phone so mum can read her texts while the baby innocently thinks she is looking into their little face full of parental wonder (but decided kids with a mum like that don't need a brain tumour from the radiation, and the required medical interventions later might interfere with mum's more important occupation as facepage whore)

 

 

Do you realise how much you could make out of that?

 

 

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only seven or eight ?

 

what gets me is that even when their entire attention should be fixed elsewhere, they will steal a glance at it the way an alcoholic takes a sly swig from a hip flask

There was a definite furtiveness about it. Come to think of it, maybe the ones who I thought weren't using their phones had them out of sight on their music stands.

 

I shouldn't have been surprised about it, but I've just moved back from Japan, where mobile phone etiquette is very different. Its not often that you hear a phone ringing or a person talking on their phone on the train. In lessons at uni over there, you would hardly even see people's phones, let alone people using them.

 

Then again, the Japanese are constantly tethered to their devices when not bound by rules of etiquette

Edited by komuso

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I think it just comes down to general common sense and courtesy. I'm connected all the time and rely a lot on my smartphone for emails and phone calls. But I don't walk around blindly using it. If I'm in a queue about to order some food or something and a call comes in, I'll walk away or step outside. It's just common courtesy!

The same could be said for people reading books. I've seen people walking down the street with their head buried in a book completely oblivious to those around them.

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in my darker moments, i invented a baby head band that holds an i-phone so mum can read her texts while the baby innocently thinks she is looking into their little face full of parental wonder (but decided kids with a mum like that don't need a brain tumour from the radiation, and the required medical interventions later might interfere with mum's more important occupation as facepage whore)

 

 

Do you realise how much you could make out of that?

 

 

 

 

Now that's bullshit ... the thieves.

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Agree with twinny. The issue isn't the devices or the connectedness, it's that people are jerks.

 

this is true, but the device is a tool that empowers them to demonstrate just how little they recognise the real world

 

and the social and physical responsibilities that they make an unwritten contract to acknowledge should they emerge from a private hidey-hole

Edited by scruffy1
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let's face it, i'm a bigger internet whore that 99% of the public, but once i eventually prise my arse out of the aeron and into the great outdoors, it is unusual that i even bother to take my phone unless i am expecting an urgent call about urgent things - like, time critical medical test reports, or the need to be available for my offspring per pre-arranged considerations

 

Totally agree. I love the internet. But when I'm out in the open world the phone stays in the pocket or in the car, unless I really need it for something.

 

I don't even bother acknowledging people who are more interested in phone than anything else that's happening in front of them.

Edited by RenascentMisanthropy

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