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Mr.Twinkie

What is Your Biggest Regret in Life?

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Greetings y'all!

 

So I've been feeling very sentimental of late and decided this may be the best way to cure it.

 

My deep regret may not be that severe and may even be naive coming from my young age but it's that what-could've-been wonder that really gets to me. Kind of like having your foot stepping on the right ladder but having it propped on the wrong wall.

 

So after high school, I got a crappy ATAR score and went to a somewhat crappy university. I made many friends there (some that I still keep in touch with) but I kept hearing so much wonderful stuff and meeting so many more wonderful people from The University of Sydney, UTS and UNSW.

 

I remained in that crappy university for a year and transferred to Macquarie University after that year thinking this could be my big break into finding my tribe, exploring my interests via much more uni life and societies, and making much more meaningful experiences out of my uni years as a whole. Sadly Macquarie University wasn't it for me at all. I made many more friends, got involved in many more societies and things, and dealt with people that really gave me insight to who I am as a person. However, a lot of the people just didn't seem like they want to take chances in making friends anymore since I was in 2nd/3rd year of my degree in a new university and so many people in my cohort have already established their friendships and just wanted to score high for honours in our competitive psych degree. This may come off as a bit arrogant, but in general, the majority of people I've met at Macquarie came across as just.. dull. I just didn't find many of them that interesting.

 

Now after 1.5 years of Macquarie, I have transferred to the national film school of Australia: AFTRS and doing part time at University of Sydney studying music. I feel so good here and have already made friends with people that I feel can go the extra mile. But part of me feel like I could've done this years ago. It felt like I wasted 2.5 years of my life feeling extra lonely, isolated and craving for more whilst I kept hanging out with my friends from other places and doing extra-curricular stuff but always feeling like an outsider. I also had a horrible dealing with depression for that time and felt it could've been dealt with so much better if I gave this one girl a chance especially when she showed so much continuous interest.

 

Now I wish what I would've done is to simply transfer to Sydney University after one semester of my first uni and studied music or communications there, Then, I could've met so many more diverse and interesting people in my local area that would be more open to take on friendships as I was and get involved in the plethora of uni life stuff that the Usyd had to offer which was astronomically better in comparison to Macquarie.

 

I'm sure this can sound like a very naive thought to complain about that some can say only amounted to around 2-3 years. I'm sure many people here had worse. But yeah that feeling of lost time and wondering what could've been and what was lost in that fresh period of youth. Just wanted to let it out. Oh wells.

 

So anyone else keen to share?

Edited by Mr.Twinkie

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i should have lost my virginity to that ravishing blonde nubile i was besotted with on the university orientation camp, but even back then, as one of the camp directors, i was too responsible to break the cardinal rule of "no fucking the freshers" even though i was barely a year older than her, and she was already sexually experienced and capable of consent... and quite keen

 

hmmm.... i'm not sure that's what you needed to hear, but you asked for some sharing, and that seems to be a recurrent if infrequent pang of regret in my now relatively long existence, despite being 40+ years ago

man, she was too cute !

 

 

anyway, with regards to your regret, i wonder if your mood coloured the "experiences" at your other uni(s), and somewhat contributed to the issues with regard to friendships ?

 

likewise, if you now feel "better", that will colour your view of current relationships

 

really, worrying about "lost" time doesn't rewind your life to allow you the opportunity to do it again better, but the experience should encourage you to do it better from here on

 

 

this is pretty twee, but the sentiment nails it :

 

yesterday's history

tomorrow's a mystery

today is a gift, that's why it's called the present

 

tldr : live in the present - dwelling on what if is merely a waste of further precious bodily fluids

 

if you are happy with where you are, why bother to be unhappy with where you aren't ?

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A few. Just under 22 years ago I quit a well paying PS job and ended up in a shitty life situation for a while as a result.

The ironic thing is that a little over 3 years later I ended up working for private enterprise in a largely outsourcing situation and every chance I'd have ended up there anyway albeit with less financial and other pain.

 

But similar to what scruffy said, everything I've been through has led me to now. I'm not quite in a situation where I could just semi-retire or otherwise take it easy but it could be way worse.

As things are, I can live fairly comfortably but not have to flog my guts out working to do so.

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Biggest regret? Nah, I'm not playing that game. There are things I would have done differently if I knew at the time the repercussions of my actions, but I've never entertained the idea of living in the past: whats done is done, for better or worse - learn any lessons there are to be gleaned, and move on.

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No regrets. I am who I am

 

The thing with you you guns is you think you have left it too late or you cannot fix mistakes

 

It is never too late to try something new, it is never too late to walk a different road

 

Mistakes are what builds character. Mistakes are what great stories are made from

A person who says they have never made a mistake is either a liar, or someone who has never tried to live

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it's a fruitless exercise to search for ctrl-Z on the keyboard of life

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Leaving WA when I was in love, 2011 - I don't really want to get into the details. I'm pretty happy leaving all the in the past.

 

2nd biggest regret, selling my 1984 Yamaha SR185 for $100.

Edited by RenascentMisanthropy

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Just one. And I'm not even sure why anymore.

As for a lot of people, it was (is?) a girl.

 

She pushed me to do new things, in many ways.

She wasn't a 'perfect match' and that just made it so much the better.

Literally, perfect for me.

Physically appealing to me (very...), mentally challenging (I find this rare these days), and with the right amount of attitude.

Countless hours in Arcades, long walks in nature, fairy-tale shit, if not for the following:

 

She had severe emotional issues, far too complicated to bother typing up;

 

In simple terms, she punished herself for things I was not thrilled about her doing, but accepted it none the less.

And the mental self punishment would last weeks.

 

In the end, it literally came to a point of "I love her enough to leave her", and I'm sure she was broken up about it, but eventually, hopefully the pain stopped....
And hopefully the 'complicated details' that she invented by being with me, also went away and she ended up happy.....

If I wasn't there, she wouldn't punish herself anymore. So I was the easiest factor to remove.

So I did.

 

I can only promise myself she ended up happy, because it took all of me, to do what I could, to stop her suffering...

I'm sure her pain stopped. So long as I'm sure of that, I'm strong enough to carry the pain.

 

I however, despite meeting some of the most amazing people in this world, some who are also so amazingly compatible and beyond wonderful, have never been able to let go.

I have no closure.

It literally feels like a romance movie with no ending.

Plus with my poor perception of time, I only realized quite how many years it had been recently....

Which means my only non creepy chance of re-establishing contact is serendipity.

It's.... hard.... but the hope for the future is about all that keeps me striving for more....

I work hard, earn money, lose weight, build muscle, gain more education, so hopefully I can be someone, that someone else is proud of.

 

EDIT:

Actually, the relationship after that was 7 years long, and it was pretty amazing.

I regret not marrying and getting on with life.... she was a dream....

The relationship was great. I just kind of gave up when she made it a "game" to keep her, I literally was told "I was going to leave you tonight, but you ended up being fun, so I'm not"

The fuck.

But oh well, you live and learn I think? Loved her though.

 

That said,

"It's easier to live alone, than fear the time it's over" ~ Tallulah - Sonata Arctica

A person who says they have never made a mistake is either a liar, or someone who has never tried to live

 

On a happier note; whenever I'm trying to 'help' a younger person, and they rebut with things like "HAVEN'T YOU EVER MADE A MISTAKE?"

I can honestly say, with the exception of my love life, no.

 

I plan, I weigh up, and I overthink everything, right down to how loud and fast I breathe in each situation.

I'm usually pretty confident I made the best logical choice throughout life.

Edited by Master_Scythe

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A person who says they have never made a mistake is either a liar, or someone who has never tried to live

 

On a happier note; whenever I'm trying to 'help' a younger person, and they rebut with things like "HAVEN'T YOU EVER MADE A MISTAKE?"

I can honestly say, with the exception of my love life, no.

 

I plan, I weigh up, and I overthink everything, right down to how loud and fast I breathe in each situation.

I'm usually pretty confident I made the best logical choice throughout life.

LOL M_S thanks for the giggle there :)

 

I guess it's all relative isn't it ? I mean some might see the lack of spontaneity as a mistake ... just sayin' :)

 

 

I've been making mistakes ever since self awareness hit, and will no doubt continue till I die. A person I run into only very rarely asked me today

if I was happy ... I said yes promptly, but on thinking about it, mostly I am - to be happy 24/7 would be down right painful I should think.

So, regrets for me a futile.

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it's a fruitless exercise to search for ctrl-Z on the keyboard of life

 

Or the ctrl key for that matter

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it's a fruitless exercise to search for ctrl-Z on the keyboard of life

 

Or the ctrl key for that matter

 

 

hola ! welcome back man

 

you found the return key ?

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not taking high school seriously

 

that would have solved a lot of my problems.

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it's a fruitless exercise to search for ctrl-Z on the keyboard of life

 

Or the ctrl key for that matter

 

 

hola ! welcome back man

 

you found the return key ?

 

 

Just swinging by for a looksee. Forum is cooking! hehe

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My ex-wife. 9 years all up.

 

but on the bright side, sounds like things improved since then... :)

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There are plenty of things in my life i regretted at the time. But not acknowledging my mental heath issues when they were diagnosed is the one thing I wish I could go back and rectify.

I think If I had of I would have turned out a much better person in general. The last 2 years has been really tough but i feel ive turned a corner and now I try and look to my future and make it the best I can. Be the best person I can be and fix some of the hurt Ive caused.

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it's a fruitless exercise to search for ctrl-Z on the keyboard of life

 

Or the ctrl key for that matter

 

 

Combine it with a +C, +V and my bank account.

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My ex-wife. 9 years all up.

 

but on the bright side, sounds like things improved since then... :)

Absolutely. I've replicated so there's a small 2.5yo mini-Leo running around :)

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Everytime I regret something that feels like a major mistake, I end up in a position where I don't care any more because I'm ahead of where I was. Probably because I overcompensate for perceived failure and get shit done to feel better. Now I run my own team in a large company and have a wonderful partner who I adore. Three years ago I would have had a list of regrets a mile long.

 

Don't sweat it Mr. Twinkie!

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