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Master_Scythe

Twenty Two Minutes to type www.

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I kid you not.

 

So I'm in a role that occasionally has to do old school desktop support.

No big deal, I'm OK at it, and usually enjoy it; it's a break from IP addresses and AD.

 

I found out yesterday people were sharing the account of someone who was away.

Nope! Not on! Locked that account out right away.

Told them, to let the user know, and have her call me when she's back from sick leave.

 

And so it begins. Some of these issues were user 1 (who is sick, and is meant to run the show at this location), and some are user2 the staff who had her account.

But I'll lump them together because... why not.

 

 

"I can't see my list any more!" (was a hyperlink on the old account, turns out)

Where is your list normally? Is it a program? a Website?

"The list is called Mozilla"

Well, that's a browser, is it in your favorites?

"No, I click a button called Mozilla and that's my list"

 

Turns out during their 5 years of employment, they never knew what a website was..... right.

 

 

NEXT!

 

"There are no programs on this login"

I assure you there are, it's a standard SOE (I obviously didn't use the term SOE or MOE).

"Well where is the Email button?"

It should be in the start menu, Under Microsoft Office

"I'm not an IT expert, what the hell is a start menu?"

*OK, 5 year, management level employee..... stay calm.....*

It's in the bottom left corner

"Nope, nothing there"

 

Took 10+ minutes to actually explain how to left click, and where to left click to open the start menu.

Windows 7, Themes Disabled, so it actually says "Start"!!!!!

a Non IT savvy Colleague actually pointed out, "How on earth have they been shutting down?"

Probably the power button.......

 

 

OK, next.

Can you go to a website for me? www.

"Where do I type that?"

*explains the address bar*

"I can't see it"

You know where you'd type google, or facebook.com or anything?

"No, I've never typed anything like that"

So, if you're home, how do you reach facebook?

"If I click on the news, there's a comment section to login to facebook, and that gets me in"

*Fuck..... sake.....*

So you've never typed a web address, or a site name?

"What's that?"

facebook.com, for example

"No."

*.......OK New approach.....*

 

THEN came the killer.....

I thought: Hmm, you know what? I'm over this... TeamViewer time!

We have corporate licenses, and a webpage with our names on it, to single click quick connect.

 

OK, I'll set this up for you, I'll just need to remote control. Open a Browser. Any of them, Chrome, Mozilla, or IE, whatever you normally click to surf the internet.

*queue literal 4 minute explanation of why she's going to open Mozilla, none of the reasons being technical*

So, is it open?

"Oh, I haven't clicked it yet"

OK, click it....

"It's loading. Sometimes when it's loading I just make it do it again and it works"

(no idea what she means) OK, no problem, let me know when it shows our home page.....

"OK, it's loaded"

Great, click the address bar

"The what?"

The bar where you'd type www. then a website

"I don't know where that is"

The long typing bar at the top of Mozilla

"I don't see one"

(this goes on for about 5 minutes)......

OK, cool, now type www.companyname.com.au

"OK...... Page not found"

Can you read out what you typed?

"www.@companyname.au"

OK, no can you type exactly what I say, letter by letter?

"Sure"

*spells it out*

"It popped up with XYZ suggestion, so I just clicked that"

OK, no. Can you type.....

*deep breath*

Actually, Open Chrome, the site we're trying to get to is the home page.

"OK, I see it"

GREAT! see where it says ~~~~~.com.au?

"Yes"

Click, so you can type at the end of that, you want to add to whats already there...

"Yep, i have a blinking cursor"

Great! just add the term "itsupport" no spaces, one word, and push enter.

"It says page not found".

*tests to be 110% sure it's up*

OK, reboot the PC, and use it as is. When you get a chance to come into head office, I'll set it up for you.

 

These threads probably aren't as funny\frustrating to others, but sometimes I just need a vent, and I'm sure someone enjoys my pain :P

Edited by Master_Scythe
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I had a teacher (who should be bright) walk into a computer lab, and completely fail to understand how to turn on a projector.

 

When the Projector was installed, the installer wired into an existing circuit to power it, and labeled it on the switchboard (which at the time, was a box on the wall)

 

Bright teacher thought it was the on-off switch for the projector, and flipped the breaker, which also happened to be connected to half the computers in the room.

 

Sorta at a loss, she took her class back to their room and told me that the projector wasn't working and could I go have a look at it.

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Sometimes it's easier to just say 'click in window x, and press this key combination'

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I kid you not.

If you haven't already, try to find the pre-'90s editions of The Bastard Operator From Hell. You will relate. The newer stuff is ok, but tries too hard, imho.

 

I got the hell out of the helpdesk within a few days of starting. I just don't have the temperament - much too likely to stroke out after the third "deep breath".

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Sometimes it's easier to just say 'click in window x, and press this key combination'

And the response is "what's a window?"

Been there done that.

And I hear you M_S. I have quite a few customers who just click on links their sons/daughters/whomever have put on the desktop to take the user straight to email/facebook/random news site and the like.

Tablet users can be worse. Had a couple who have said their tablet is broken because things are different. Turns out they had side swiped to the second or third screen and didn't know you could do this!

/heads desk. Or wonder why their tablet or laptop has no internet when away from the home wireless connection.

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I kid you not.

If you haven't already, try to find the pre-'90s editions of The Bastard Operator From Hell. You will relate. The newer stuff is ok, but tries too hard, imho.

 

I got the hell out of the helpdesk within a few days of starting. I just don't have the temperament - much too likely to stroke out after the third "deep breath".

 

 

Yeah, my position technically DOES cover "Level 3" helpdesk, but things rarely reach this level, that aren't based around a project.

So that's fine.

But I don't normally deal with end user outside of "We have a new program, X, it needs installing" at which point I make them submit it so I can test it, and go from there.

 

I just decided that I'd help this user, because it was THEORETICALLY easier than having them call the L1 guys, and explain why I'd locked out the account.

Mistake of my life.

 

Sometimes it's easier to just say 'click in window x, and press this key combination'

And the response is "what's a window?"

Been there done that.

And I hear you M_S. I have quite a few customers who just click on links their sons/daughters/whomever have put on the desktop to take the user straight to email/facebook/random news site and the like.

Tablet users can be worse. Had a couple who have said their tablet is broken because things are different. Turns out they had side swiped to the second or third screen and didn't know you could do this!

/heads desk. Or wonder why their tablet or laptop has no internet when away from the home wireless connection.

 

 

This is exactly WHY I refuse to set up those links for my parents.

They want them, they ask why they can't have them.

And I tell them the same thing:

 

They're easy to make, research how, and you'll have them!

 

Otherwise, knowing the URL, and knowing how to open a browser, is way more valuable in the long run than having a 'quick link' it just breeds stupidity.

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Turns out they had side swiped to the second or third screen and didn't know you could do this!

/heads desk. Or wonder why their tablet or laptop has no internet when away from the home wireless connection.

 

 

This actually really gets me, hey.....

It's a tablet.

The ENTIRE ecosystem is 'swipe touch and hold'....

If something is looking odd, yet there's nothing that actually says "OMFG ITS BROKEN FIND AN I.T. GUY!" like an error or such.

WHY, just.... WHY wouldn't you TRY SWIPING the damn device!!!!

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Turns out they had side swiped to the second or third screen and didn't know you could do this!

/heads desk. Or wonder why their tablet or laptop has no internet when away from the home wireless connection.

 

 

This actually really gets me, hey.....

It's a tablet.

The ENTIRE ecosystem is 'swipe touch and hold'....

If something is looking odd, yet there's nothing that actually says "OMFG ITS BROKEN FIND AN I.T. GUY!" like an error or such.

WHY, just.... WHY wouldn't you TRY SWIPING the damn device!!!!

 

:)

 

Don't use my tablet a lot but my 86 year old mother who had never used a computer in her life until given an i-Pad a few years back has mastered it completely.

 

I think the funniest Helldesk story I ever heard was from my ex when she was working on the desk for W.A. Education - a school from the north of the state called and said "There's smoke coming out of our server, are you guys having a problem down there?"

 

Um no, but go pull the plug out, now!!! :)

 

Cheers

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Turns out they had side swiped to the second or third screen and didn't know you could do this!

/heads desk. Or wonder why their tablet or laptop has no internet when away from the home wireless connection.

 

 

This actually really gets me, hey.....

It's a tablet.

The ENTIRE ecosystem is 'swipe touch and hold'....

If something is looking odd, yet there's nothing that actually says "OMFG ITS BROKEN FIND AN I.T. GUY!" like an error or such.

WHY, just.... WHY wouldn't you TRY SWIPING the damn device!!!!

 

:)

 

Don't use my tablet a lot but my 86 year old mother who had never used a computer in her life until given an i-Pad a few years back has mastered it completely.

 

I think the funniest Helldesk story I ever heard was from my ex when she was working on the desk for W.A. Education - a school from the north of the state called and said "There's smoke coming out of our server, are you guys having a problem down there?"

 

Um no, but go pull the plug out, now!!! :)

 

Cheers

 

 

I used to work in schools here in QLD.

 

I walked in one day to smell a very obvious (to me, My father builds hotrods....) smell of WELDING.

Specificaly, welding.....not just burning.... After a quick look around, and a slight puff of smoke, I finally found it.

 

EdQ for a while used PLANET brand PoE switches.

These had a 12 month warranty and were often expected to do 'Full Duty life' for 3~5 years, like a more expensive solution (like a CISCO).

 

Well, one of these guys had something fail... spectacularly.

There was a hole burnt in the top of the PoE metal casing, and a perfect little blue arc, shaped just like a TIG welder pulse, peeking out of the newly formed hole, slowly eating it's way into the 24port switch above it.

 

I've never seen ANYTHING like it before, it was so... perfect. Just totally looking like it's designed to be there....

 

Once it was unplugged and cool to the touch I pulled it apart, and it was just one of the small IC's near the PoE management board that had 'burst', and was arcing.

Was even more magnificent to see with the case off of the device.

Edited by Master_Scythe

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OH GOD SHE CALLED BACK!

 

"I'm not on the Internet"

I'm sure you are, can you google anything?

"Irrelevant, when I open email, it just keeps coming up"

What is it? and how does it come up?

"The Outlook"

Well yes, Outlook is supposed to come up

"Yes but it keeps coming up"

OK? That's good?

"I don't want it to"

But you want email?

"Yes, but I don't want to keep having to Outlook"

 

What she means is that the password prompt is coming up.

And she doesn't know what her email address is.

5 years..... manager level..... doesn't know how our company email works..... (first name dot last name)

 

I told her this is taking too long, and I needed a bathroom break, so I'll call her back, and hung up.

Went and pooped out of frustration.

 

and now here I am.

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Heh,

 

Yeah, probably not so pristine but have been called out to a couple of switch fires caused by POE chips.

 

I think it is fixed now but at the time we did an audit of every client, a couple were running way too hot.

 

Cheers

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you should hear how some patients believe their body parts work

I got an abridged fully illustrated copy of Grey's Anatomy for a b'day present when I was 10. Best thing ever. Never had any interest in medicine, but I regularly startle doctors by naming bits when they're trying to use plain language to explain something. :)

 

More folk should do that, imho. Parents get all funny about their kids seeing intimate pictures of reproductive organs, though.

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It's all fair enough that there's people out there with SFA idea about computers.

 

What shits me though is when they're employed in positions where IT proficiency is part of the selection criteria and it's obvious they're clueless and being paid for posessing knowledge and skills they don't have.

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It's all fair enough that there's people out there with SFA idea about computers.

What shits me though is when they're employed in positions where IT proficiency is part of the selection criteria and it's obvious they're clueless and being paid for posessing knowledge and skills they don't have.

 

The second part is the key, yes.

 

But if you're in the workforce and use a computer AT ALL, you'd hope you'd have picked up a few things to stay employed.

The common ones are:

What a 'Mouse' is.

What a Start Menu is.

What a webpage is.

How a power button works.

The name of the apps you use, every day.

 

If not, I don't see why you'd be employed.

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GREAT! see where it says ~~~~~.com.au?

"Yes"

Click, so you can type at the end of that, you want to add to whats already there...

"Yep, i have a blinking cursor"

Great! just add the term "itsupport" no spaces, one word, and push enter.

"It says page not found".

i get a 404 on "http://www.companyname.comitsupport" too :P

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... but. but the help desks rely on ignorant people, it keeps them gainfully employed.

 

I wouldn't know what to do with a tablet or the latest smart phone. I did teach myself to use an old but still operable Motorola ( work phone ) ,but anything more modern

would be my undoing. Walt's painstaking guidance :P in the past, is what allowed me even a clue as to what to do with the phone...

 

I can get by with a lot of the tasks on my notebook towards it's general upkeep but if the shit hit the fan I'd step right back with my hands held high :)

CC cleaner gives me the right royal shits with all its 'you-beaut' advertising on the update pages. I try not to glaze over but the thought of doing the wrong thing generally freezes me. Reading this thread though I reckon I'd be a wizz in a field that left me running from it in fear

 

Late edit: well I just proved myself wrong. I completed the latest cc update without even a whimper ;) I think I need to change careers. lol.

Edited by eveln

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... but. but the help desks rely on ignorant people, it keeps them gainfully employed.

 

*snip*

 

I can get by with a lot of the tasks on my notebook towards it's general upkeep but if the shit hit the fan I'd step right back with my hands held high :)

 

Not level 3 :P

People who know how to use a PC, but think they know how to Administer a PC is what keeps me employed :P

"We bought a $6000 smart sign!"

It needs Local Admin rights to run the software.....

"Isn't it great!"

You don't have local admin rights.....

"Give me them then"

....no....

(real scenario)

 

 

And yeah, helpdesk is A-OK to help when shit hits the fan, but all my examples haven't been anything broken.

Nor stepping outside of any of their daily apps.

It's just infuriating! lol

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OH GOD SHE CALLED BACK!

 

"I'm not on the Internet"

I'm sure you are, can you google anything?

"Irrelevant, when I open email, it just keeps coming up"

What is it? and how does it come up?

"The Outlook"

Well yes, Outlook is supposed to come up

"Yes but it keeps coming up"

OK? That's good?

"I don't want it to"

But you want email?

"Yes, but I don't want to keep having to Outlook"

 

What she means is that the password prompt is coming up.

And she doesn't know what her email address is.

5 years..... manager level..... doesn't know how our company email works..... (first name dot last name)

 

I told her this is taking too long, and I needed a bathroom break, so I'll call her back, and hung up.

Went and pooped out of frustration.

 

and now here I am.

Good lord... I would not be employed for long at this place.

 

Is there something wrong with Queenslanders?

Edited by SceptreCore

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OH GOD SHE CALLED BACK!

 

"I'm not on the Internet"

I'm sure you are, can you google anything?

"Irrelevant, when I open email, it just keeps coming up"

What is it? and how does it come up?

"The Outlook"

Well yes, Outlook is supposed to come up

"Yes but it keeps coming up"

OK? That's good?

"I don't want it to"

But you want email?

"Yes, but I don't want to keep having to Outlook"

 

What she means is that the password prompt is coming up.

And she doesn't know what her email address is.

5 years..... manager level..... doesn't know how our company email works..... (first name dot last name)

 

I told her this is taking too long, and I needed a bathroom break, so I'll call her back, and hung up.

Went and pooped out of frustration.

 

and now here I am.

Good lord... I would not be employed for long at this place.

 

Is there something wrong with Queenslanders?

 

:)

 

Probably... spent a lot of time around them and count several as very good friends, but I tend to think the sun and or XXXX get to their brains :)

 

Cheers

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I tend to think the sun and or XXXX get to their brains :)

 

It's not just QLD - or all of it either. I reckon heat makes brains operate differently. Not stupid by any means, or Singapore would not be where it is today, but...different. Like, Cornish different. Things seem perfectly reasonable to people in hot climes that can leave those same people scratching their heads in bewilderment in cold climes (if they move, for example).

 

'Course, that doesn't explain the Cornish themselves - sure ain't hot there. And the Irish. And Poles... ;p

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Probably... spent a lot of time around them and count several as very good friends, but I tend to think the sun and or XXXX get to their brains :)

Their brains?

 

It's not just QLD - or all of it either. I reckon heat makes brains operate differently. Not stupid by any means, or Singapore would not be where it is today, but...different. Like, Cornish different. Things seem perfectly reasonable to people in hot climes that can leave those same people scratching their heads in bewilderment in cold climes (if they move, for example).

 

'Course, that doesn't explain the Cornish themselves - sure ain't hot there. And the Irish. And Poles... ;p

Troppo is the term you're looking for I believe.

 

West Aussies don't require things to be sparkly to distract them, a cow will do just fine ... http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-09-14/how-a-cow-saved-wa-parliament/8946772

Something about that House makes creatures lose their minds.

Edited by SceptreCore

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Im the do it all guy here at work except for networking and specialised apps I have nfi about. All sorts here. I know a bit of everything as a consequence.

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