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Master_Scythe

Bullying: The risk with 'accepting differences'.

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12 hours ago, Nich... said:

You read it here first, folks.  The answer to bullying is more bullying.

🙂

I really would not call that bullying Nich, protecting your child followed by self defense would far better describe it.

Cheers

 

 

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9 minutes ago, chrisg said:

🙂

I really would not call that bullying Nich, protecting your child followed by self defense would far better describe it.

Cheers

 

 

I expect most people who resort to physical force for intimidation, rather than words, don't often see themselves as a bully.  I wonder if that kid's father thought he was just protecting his kid?  At least he took a swing at you, and not your kid.

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9 hours ago, Nich... said:

I expect most people who resort to physical force for intimidation, rather than words, don't often see themselves as a bully.

You're right, but I wonder. Given the choice;

Would I prefer to rely on words for intimidation?
Or force for intimidation?

And if I was the victim,

Would I prefer to take intimidating words?
Or intimidating force?

 

I'm sure it's personal, but I think I'd personally take force.
Physical wounds heal, and everyone, big or small, has a chance to TRY and defend themselves against force.
Emotional wounds seldom heal, and having at least SOME chance to fight back or defend is not so guaranteed against them.
 

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🙂

 

I suppose you'd have to be there but if you have someone at your door who without saying a word goes to hit you what would you do, pass him a dictionary?

Pure reaction on my part and tbh I really don't care if you think words can solve such a situation, because they wont.

To cut a longer story short I can give you a very good idea of where his kid got his bullying from...

NO ONE, I repeat NO ONE messes with my kids and gets away with it - note I tried to solve the issue with the school, who were fucking useless so I took matters into my own hands.

Personally I don't think I had a jaw-jaw option, I did what needed to be done and the outcome was satisfactory.

I tend to think Nich that you would have tried to do the same thing, whether you are capable of physically defending yourself from a thug at your door, that I doubt.

Cheers

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> You're right, but I wonder. Given the choice; Would I prefer to rely on words for intimidation? Or force for intimidation?

That might not have been the dichotomy that Nich... was suggesting. Nich... was giving the option of "physical force for intimidation" and "words". Not "words for intimidation".

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3 minutes ago, ResidentNeville said:

> You're right, but I wonder. Given the choice; Would I prefer to rely on words for intimidation? Or force for intimidation?

That might not have been the dichotomy that Nich... was suggesting. Nich... was giving the option of "physical force for intimidation" and "words". Not "words for intimidation". 

Quite possibly, but given the situation described, with the 3rd party already throwing punches, it's obvious that discussions have already broken down.
The only answer is SOME sort of self defense, be that verbal or physical.

We're not all 'The Doctor'; the answer to someone, not only threatening you, but actively attacking you, is rarely more calm diplomacy 😛

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2 minutes ago, ResidentNeville said:

> You're right, but I wonder. Given the choice; Would I prefer to rely on words for intimidation? Or force for intimidation?

That might not have been the dichotomy that Nich... was suggesting. Nich... was giving the option of "physical force for intimidation" and "words". Not "words for intimidation".

I don't honestly know what Nich was suggesting - tyranny of text - it read like he was calling me a bully for how I dealt with a situation.

A bully I most emphatically am not, been in a lot of rumbles in my life but I can say with all honesty that I have never started one.

I'd really like to know what Nich thinks he would have done in the situation I described, take it on the jaw? No thanks.

That kid deserved a kick up the ass, he had spent all day using typical bullying tactics of girls in school - pulling hair, twisting arms, and put my daughter in tears. She can actually look after herself pretty well, but gentle soul that she is she hates fights and also was well aware that she would end up being the one found at fault if she retaliated, that is often what bullies are looking to provoke.

So Nich, either explain yourself, tell me how to talk your way out of a fist headed for your jaw, otherwise frankly fuck off, your comments have been misinformed and inane.

 

Cheers

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50 minutes ago, chrisg said:

So Nich, either explain yourself, tell me how to talk your way out of a fist headed for your jaw, otherwise frankly fuck off, your comments have been misinformed and inane. 

Ease up tiger.

Odds are in the circumstance there was no way to avoid it, and human evolution isn't the same speed for everyone.
There ARE still people out there who will ONLY learn through physical lessons (whether that be a beating, incarceration, or loss), and it sounds like you were face to face with such a sub-human.
Some people (actually quite a lot of people these days! and possibly Nich) have been lucky enough to not meet many of these people, but they're still out there.

Different strokes for different folks.
Nich loves his morals high ground, and you love Bravado.
I on the other hand love a long-con payback.

Everyone gets closure and a feeling of justice in their own way when injustice is served.

Edited by Master_Scythe

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3 minutes ago, Master_Scythe said:

Ease up tiger.

Odds are in the circumstance there was no way to avoid it, and human evolution isn't the same speed for everyone.
There ARE still people out there who will ONLY learn through physical lessons (whether that be a beating, incarceration, or loss), and it sounds like you were face to face with such a sub-human.

Different strokes for different folks.
Nich loves his high horse, and you love Bravado.
I on the other hand love the long-con, making them realize years later why they'e still paying.

Everyone gets closure and a feeling of justice in their own way when injustice is served.

🙂

Very good post mate - not so sure about the bravado bit, but again just the tyranny of text of my posts I guess 🙂

If I've misread Nich then I apologise, but it did strike a nerve because I maintain I did the best I could do in the circumstances.

 

Cheers

 

 

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> So Nich, either explain yourself, tell me how to talk your way out of a fist headed for your jaw, otherwise frankly fuck off, your comments have been misinformed and inane. 

You sound like a balanced and level-headed individual.

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🙂

I have two kids of my own, and two sort of adopted ones, I either have to be as you describe or go insane, some might argue the latter 🙂

Cheers

 

 

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The trick is not to be in a situation where a fist is being thrown at your face when you open the door.  By, for example, not bullying a kid and being surprised that the kid's parent takes matters into their own hands.  Or at least self-consciously laughing at the irony.

Assuming you weren't just using a figure of speech, or hyperbole, when you said you decided to give the kid who bullied your kid a quick one after the school said it couldn't help.  But I mean, you've never been coy with resorting to violence to settle things in the past, so I'm only taking you at your word.

I think it's telling that you've focused entirely on what my reaction would be to being hit in the face at my door, rather than what prompted that confrontation.  Like I said, a lot of bullies don't realise that's what they are, because it doesn't fit with their personal narrative.

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20 minutes ago, Nich... said:

The trick is not to be in a situation where a fist is being thrown at your face when you open the door.  By, for example, not bullying a kid and being surprised that the kid's parent takes matters into their own hands.  Or at least self-consciously laughing at the irony.

Assuming you weren't just using a figure of speech, or hyperbole, when you said you decided to give the kid who bullied your kid a quick one after the school said it couldn't help.  But I mean, you've never been coy with resorting to violence to settle things in the past, so I'm only taking you at your word.

I think it's telling that you've focused entirely on what my reaction would be to being hit in the face at my door, rather than what prompted that confrontation.  Like I said, a lot of bullies don't realise that's what they are, because it doesn't fit with their personal narrative.

Hmm,

So explain why I took it to the school first before dealing with the junior bully? - I didn't hurt him by the way, bad description on my part, he needed to be shown that messing with my kid was a bad idea, I more let him know with a boot shove that he was not going to get away with it and that he was way out of his league around me.

His idiot father found that out, rather quickly, and no, I had no opportunity to negotiate with him, he initiated violence, and discovered rather quickly that he picked the wrong person to take a swing at.

I did not initiate any of the violence, I just dealt with it because the so-called "authorities" were useless.

You are quite correct, I am not in the least averse to using violence when needed, but I never initiate it - probable exception of in mil life, but that is a different world and one I'd guess you have no knowledge whatsoever of.

I was defending my kid before it escalated for chrissake, you are not a father if you do not protect your kids, you ought to know that.

I repeat, I'm no bully, but if anyone tries to bully me, or my kids they should either reconsider or book themselves an ambulance...

Not everything is negotiable Nich - to quote a classic history case Neville Chamberlain and "peace in our time" gave Hitler the space to lead to WWII.

It is not a case of my initiating anything, the bully child did by abusing my daughter.

In other words your assumptions are incorrect, including about me, I'm not a violent person, just very capable of it if it comes my way.

Just what would you do if confronted by one of your children in tears with pathetic authorities unable to deal with it?

I COULD have taken her out of the school, but that would just have been seen as a victory by the little prick and he would have moved on to bully another child - guarantee it.

I short-circuited it and actually my cop friends utterly agree with my actions.

 

Cheers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you understand what bullying is and can entail, Chris?

1 hour ago, chrisg said:

Hmm,

So explain why I took it to the school first before dealing with the junior bully? - I didn't hurt him by the way, bad description on my part, he needed to be shown that messing with my kid was a bad idea, I more let him know with a boot shove that he was not going to get away with it and that he was way out of his league around me.

His idiot father found that out, rather quickly, and no, I had no opportunity to negotiate with him, he initiated violence, and discovered rather quickly that he picked the wrong person to take a swing at.

I did not initiate any of the violence, I just dealt with it because the so-called "authorities" were useless.

You are quite correct, I am not in the least averse to using violence when needed, but I never initiate it - probable exception of in mil life, but that is a different world and one I'd guess you have no knowledge whatsoever of.

I was defending my kid before it escalated for chrissake, you are not a father if you do not protect your kids, you ought to know that.

I repeat, I'm no bully, but if anyone tries to bully me, or my kids they should either reconsider or book themselves an ambulance...

Not everything is negotiable Nich - to quote a classic history case Neville Chamberlain and "peace in our time" gave Hitler the space to lead to WWII.

It is not a case of my initiating anything, the bully child did by abusing my daughter.

In other words your assumptions are incorrect, including about me, I'm not a violent person, just very capable of it if it comes my way.

Just what would you do if confronted by one of your children in tears with pathetic authorities unable to deal with it?

I COULD have taken her out of the school, but that would just have been seen as a victory by the little prick and he would have moved on to bully another child - guarantee it.

I short-circuited it and actually my cop friends utterly agree with my actions.

 

Cheers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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24 minutes ago, Nich... said:

Do you understand what bullying is and can entail, Chris?

 

🙂

 

I'm pretty damned certain you don't....

 

Cheers

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10 hours ago, Master_Scythe said:

I'm sure it's personal, but I think I'd personally take force.
Physical wounds heal, and everyone, big or small, has a chance to TRY and defend themselves against force.
Emotional wounds seldom heal, and having at least SOME chance to fight back or defend is not so guaranteed against them.
 

No preference for me . It's all shit behaviour. The terror of waiting to be bashed with no foreseeable way out is pretty fucking emotionally destabilising.

Bashing can and does affect your body in the long term. our bones and cartilage and discs are really much better off without the abuse. The body will stand and move and sit and bend till far longer in old age without being bashed as a young one

Edited by eveln
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45 minutes ago, eveln said:

No preference for me . It's all shit behaviour. The terror of waiting to be bashed with no foreseeable way out is pretty fucking emotionally destabilising.

Bashing can and does affect your body in the long term. our bones and cartilage and discs are really much better off without the abuse. The body will stand and move and sit and bend till far longer in old age without being bashed as a young one

🙂

 

It depends Ev.

In a rather adventurous life, I'm 66, I've busted just about every bone in my body, but, recent and passing case of a balance issue aside I  remain flexible and fit and expect to remain so, for a long, long time.

But everybody is different, some people just do not inherit the genes for a robust metabolism, so I'm just lucky I guess 🙂

Part of it is mental attitude though, amazing what you can do with a quiet chat to your body 🙂

Cheers

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3 hours ago, chrisg said:

🙂

 

I'm pretty damned certain you don't....

I've done plenty of bullying and being bullied, in my time.  I'd like to think I have a better grasp of it than some shitty 'oh it was self defense, not bullying! I didn't throw the first punch, I just provoked it by bullying a kid' act.  I'd certainly be pretty embarrassed if that's the lesson I was teaching my kid.

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Clearly I've been absent too long from this thread.

You've all missed a really salient point, to wit, that if you come at me and I hit you with a dictionary you are going to be in a whole world of hurt.

The trick is that you don't mess around with any pocket editions, or even concise editions. You need to go the full OED in these situations. My dictionary is the approximate volume and weight of a besser block, and includes a variety of Australian dialect terms that are also handy in a confrontation. After calling you a dropkick and a booner, I can demonstrate the usage of both words from first principles AND break your nose.

Argument over.

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