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hulkster

Trust issues not helping me move on.

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33 minutes ago, fliptopia said:

hurt to ask if we are getting off track for what he was after.

Mmm. bottom of his OP sorta says he's just putting it out there and not really After having any questions answered by us. Still I reckon it would be interesting to just see the feedback don't you ? either that, or he's gone " fuck that shit "
and headed out to work on his latest piece of vehicular splendour

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Thanks all for your thoughts.

There is no right or wrong answer for me here, just me talking to you guys about whats going on with me. 

I have built the biggest and thickest walls and dont like the idea of letting someone in only to have to rebuild new walls. I doubt it will happen with this person but I also doubted it last time, and the time before that.

I do love my current way of living, love my time at home on my own and really dont want to give it up at all. If it comes to the crunch I think Ill put my sanity first and go through the last 3rd of my life as a single guy.  No hurt that way.

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1 hour ago, hulkster said:

Thanks all for your thoughts.

I do love my current way of living, love my time at home on my own and really dont want to give it up at all. If it comes to the crunch I think Ill put my sanity first and go through the last 3rd of my life as a single guy.  No hurt that way.

 

you sound like a man who would be okay solitary, but why not discuss the possibility of being "independent together" with the lady as i suggested, and in time it will be clear if proximity in the same house would be even better, or just a complication to what is a good thing despite living "alone", without doing it early and wondering about an exit plan

 

the older we get, the more our demand for our own space is entirely reasonable - sometimes that works in a big house, sometimes you really need some additional separation for sanity's sake

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Let's be honest, most people cohabitate for budgetary reasons. If that's not an urgent motivator, then there's nothing wrong with admitting you like time by yourself, apart from other people.

 

Also, fwiw,

https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201310/solo-polyamory-singleish-single-poly

You get to write your own relationship script, rather than defaulting to what society says.

 

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