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DEVERE

It's that most wonderful time....

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It’s that most wonderful time of the year……

 

Most of us love Christmas and I’m certainly no stranger to that…. until you throw in the fact you’re a retailer and you have shitty customers who are rushed, frazzled and some just downright rude.

 

Ofttimes - most of us are doing the whole panicked “F#ck!  Christmas is {X} days away and I’m supposed to be feeding 20 people and I just haven’t got my food and presents sorted yet”  and as a retailer I always try to be super organised (I literally just have to get my salad items a few days before Christmas - although trying to find time to cook & prepare when we are pushing through after 21 days in a row and upwards of 100 hours a week is always fun)

 

I’ve already had the following - with attitude: (Bold Yellow  = customer… Regular = me)

“…..but Woolworths sell their hams at $9kg - why are your’s more expensive”  😲

 

“I bought my ham at the supermarket - I want you to cut it down smaller for me”  😒

 

“I want order whatever I ordered 5 years ago” **Ummm ok then** (and this is why I keep spreadsheets)  🙄

 

“I need a boneless rolled turkey to cook tonight” **Did you order one?** “No, but you can do one up for me right now, yeah?**well… they actually come in frozen so I leave them frozen until a few days prior to the order being picked up so they have time to thaw out** “But you can still do one for me today, yeah?” 😣

 

“Can I have 10kg of premium mince in 250g lots?”  😡 (Always happens during peak trading hours on Christmas Eve - but you never know who is going to order it)

 

“Are you open Christmas Day in case I need extra’s?” **no, we’re not** “Well you’re no bloody good to me then, are you?” 🤬

 

“I need to feed 4 people for Christmas, you can deliver the meat hot for our Christmas lunch  at 12:30pm and serve it” 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

 

 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind giving cooking advise or working out how much is needed to feed x amount of people but seriously - it costs $0 to be nice to the person serving you.  Please be nice to your servers this holiday season…. and I’m so glad I no longer work in Hospitality!!

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Good Lord !!

 

Those leave me speechless, what a bunch of prats...

 

Cheers

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Hahaha and that just a small example of what many retailers put up with lol

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1 minute ago, DEVERE said:

just a small example

 

Indeed. I'm not in retail (though my sister is), and I am completely over it wrt people.  Most people - there are some I like.  Thanos would be doing the rest a favour.

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People get more unrealistic in their expectations each year, have noticed this over time and It's obvious just listening to people in general conversation. They demand that they should get x service, and at no charge even when the service they demand is not on offer, and will not be offered.

 

Society is getting more dysfunctional all the time.

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LOL but I lurve the supply and serve expectation !

Surely DEVERE serving 24 / 7 is truly your only desire 😛

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3 minutes ago, eveln said:

LOL but I lurve the supply and serve expectation !

Surely DEVERE serving 24 / 7 is truly your only desire 😛

 

The looks I get when I tell them that I too have a family I'd like to spend Christmas Day with is truly LOLworthy.

 

Seriously though - the supply & serve expectation comes from probably 3% of our clients whom are either holiday makers or those ones who only go to the butcher at Christmas (starting to feel like a puppy lol)

Edited by DEVERE

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😉

 

The one wondering if you opened on Christmas Day took the cake...

 

It's been a very long time since I worked retail but I did enjoy it at the time. One year Christmas Eve happened to fall mid-week so the small staff of the rather odd electrical store I worked in decided we would open for half a day - actually I think it was required but we did not expect much trade.

 

We were very wrong, we had people crowding in so much that we did not close until after 2pm. People were buying all manner of last minute things up to and including VCRs, I had my 2nd best day of the month in a time when VCRs were totally the rage.

 

Never understood it, we'd been crazy busy the weekend just passed when we had opened both days but this was just unreal. The must be some very disorganised people in this world.

 

Cheers

 

 

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1 hour ago, DEVERE said:

 

The looks I get when I tell them that I too have a family I'd like to spend Christmas Day with is truly LOLworthy.

 

Seriously though - the supply & serve expectation comes from probably 3% of our clients whom are either holiday makers or those ones who only go to the butcher at Christmas (starting to feel like a puppy lol)

Interesting concept for diversification of your thriving empire ... Only done for big dollars though !

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i know you cant afford to go scorched earth on your customers.   "No meat for you!  Next!"  but i think i would *try* to respond in proportion to the level of rudeness.  never matching it!  but theres often a way to rebuke someone with enough subtlety to skirt the line of going too far.  the trick is to make people feel stupid while maintaining plausible deniability that you did it on purpose LOL.  not easy to think of the perfect thing to say in the moment though.  but i imagine you have a set of canned responses.

 

2 hours ago, DEVERE said:

“…..but Woolworths sell their hams at $9kg - why are yours more expensive”  😲

what do you say to this?

 

depends on the tone they used i guess.  it could be a genuine, if naive/silly question.  conversely, it could be a muppet looking to vent their fiscal frustrations on you.

 

no good moaning about the monopolistic powers of the big two over the little guy imo. better off making it about them.  quality and convenience: "Well, you're hear now.  It's up to you whether or not the price difference is more than the time and effort it will cost you to go to Woollies for a poorer quality ham".  <-- said with zero trace of smartarsery.  a kindly good humoured tone is mandatory. 

 

2 hours ago, DEVERE said:

“I bought my ham at the supermarket - I want you to cut it down smaller for me”  😒

 

is this a service that you offer?  probably not.  who knows what contamination that would invite.  could you charge through the nose for it?

 

2 hours ago, DEVERE said:

“Can I have 10kg of premium mince in 250g lots?”  😡 (Always happens during peak trading hours on Christmas Eve - but you never know who is going to order it)

 

the fuck is this about?  tell me its not people who want you to prep 40 hamburger patties for their backyard BBQ. 

 

"I've got a better idea.  Why don't I give you this bag of meat, and you can fuck off somewhere to buy yourself a set of scales and some freezer bags."  okay...not an option.

 

2 hours ago, DEVERE said:

“Are you open Christmas Day in case I need extras?” **no, we’re not** “Well you’re no bloody good to me then, are you?” 🤬

 

seriously?  given their response, i think you can afford to be a little rude to this person.  but most likely theyve thrown a fuck you your way and just walked off.  chase them down with a cleaver?  okay...not an option.

 

2 hours ago, DEVERE said:

“I need to feed 4 people for Christmas, you can deliver the meat hot for our Christmas lunch at 12:30pm and serve it” 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

 

"Sure we can.  We offer full table service, a live band, a jumping castle for the kids, and the ghost of Heath Ledger will also be there offering complimentary sexual favours to all the adult guests."  okay...not an option.

 

 

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@ @~thehung if you are a regular customer of a small business, we will go the extra distance 

most of the examples DEVERE has mentioned are people who rarely/never shop with her, but want her expertise (they will not be willing to pay for her time)

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11 minutes ago, TheManFromPOST said:

(they will not be willing to pay for her time)

ain't that the truth !

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45 minutes ago, TheManFromPOST said:

@ @~thehung if you are a regular customer of a small business, we will go the extra distance 

most of the examples DEVERE has mentioned are people who rarely/never shop with her, but want her expertise (they will not be willing to pay for her time)

 

of course.  its one of the few ways you can compete, and it kind of comes about naturally.  what made you think i dont understand that?

 

 

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The usual is that the big chains don't do so well but I've found Aldi hams and corned beefs to be pretty ordinary, Coles hams not bad and their corned beef really good.

I tend not to buy a ham leg these days, I get sick of it, stop eating it and by the end of January find myself throwing a third of it out.

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you guys should be grateful you aren't medicos

 

"i can just leave the forms if you are too busy, and i will collect them later"

 

"this should be easy - i've been getting these headaches / i'm tired"  (or add your own very non-specific symptom that could mean almost anything)

 

"and while i'm here, can you do a script for my wife / friend / dog?""

 

"my naturopath says i should have all these tests and if you order them it's free"  (produces list of things that are unjustifiable, or not available under medicare for the purpose, and then cop pressure because if the alternative therapist orders it they will have to pay for it themselves (but they will happily see the naturopath weekly and pay them more than i get per visit - and want a copy for everyone but will not want to come in to discuss abnormalities which are my responsibility as the ordering practitioner)

 

and a few favourites for a busy day :

 

after doing endless amounts of routine maintenance tasks in a scheduled time and feeling satisfied you're only a bit later than planned "and while i'm here i thought i should tell you about these chest pains" (never as the opening gambit, always a throw away line as i am trying to say goodbye

 

to that list of late additions would be, and...

 

"i've noticed some bleeding in my poo / urine / sputum"

 

"my period is 3 weeks late"

 

"i've also been feeling pretty low" (segue to tears)

 

and 25 minutes into the booked 15 minute appointment "you can charge me extra" - with no insight that i can't suddenly get back on time for the following dozen appointments, several of which will have similar "problems"

 

 

then there's the inevitable messages :

 

"can i just pick up a script / referral"  - last seen several months if not years ago

 

discharge letter from hospital visit re someone last seen ages prior - "gp to chase up test / x-ray report"  - not even sent to me, i have to literally seek it out and then decide what to do; if it's normal i let patients know as a matter of courtesy, but there's many minutes of my day i'll never see again, nor get paid for

 

and all he correspondence i read on my time, plus review all pathology and imaging, again on my own time, and often follow up with a phone call because dragging people in to pay for being told "no worries" is ludicrous given it costs them not only money, but time, and i consider it's part of the service for the premium they pay, and they are adopted family, not just meat for my conveyor belt; that includes reassurance their tests are normal when a specialist orders something quite important and i'm flagged a copy, rather than hanging by the thumbs till eventual follow up with the big guy, because relief from paranoia is priceless (been on the receiving end; early notification of good news is always a great thing)

 

 

and my ultimate favourite, from companies :

 

"please complete the following insurance forms, including all past tests / imaging / specialist letters / referrals and details if consultation - it is imperative you do so straight away or your patient will not be covered by our policy; we will pay you $79 for immediate reply (at least they add "or send your account"

 

shit yeah ! i'll do all that for less than a standard appointment is charged... not !  at least that one is easy money (charge brutally, the company has to pay, and the "client" won't get any better deal even if i do it free), and is less time critical - i can do it as i eat lunch at 3pm after my "morning" session

 

sorta why i only do "half days" - of which mid afternoon if i'm lucky is quit time

 

 

/rant

 

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At least I've usually consulted Dr Google and have a few options ready..............with medication suggestions!

(Don't forget the OXY for the Missus!)

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i am all business at the doctor.  ive got everything i want to report or ask about fully sorted in a mental spreadsheet of concise dot points. often, there's little need for follow up questions because ive anticipated most of the routine ones and been forthcoming with the pertinent info.  no yammering on. 

 

why open with "I've been getting a weird pain...", and then sit there forcing the doc to draw information out of you like blood from a stone when you can blurt out the time of onset, frequency, severity, whether its acute or dull etc., in one fell swoop?

 

13 minutes ago, LogicprObe said:

At least I've usually consulted Dr Google and have a few options ready..............with medication suggestions!

 

i absolutely Dr Google the shit out of everything, but i am judicious about what i give voice to in the room.  i am keen to make it clear that i am rigorous as a DIY researcher but always ready to defer to direct clinical experience, so that i never have to hear a suppressed sigh when i start a sentence with "According to something i was reading on the internet..." 🙂

 

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dr google is my friend, especially with patients who do intelligent research

 

for every concise historian there are scores of completely vague presenters, who will often try to tell you the bits they are concerned about after throwing away a line on something that has my immediate and appropriate focus

 

 

as for dot points...

 

it's not so much the points as the quantity

 

 

one of our doctors recently died, and his chronic patients will arrive with - "i need all my scropts (some of which require a telephone call for authority), i need 3 referral letters, and the reason i've come today is.... (add something completely different that may relate to any of the above)"

 

they expect this in a standard time slot (15 minutes) - which i might possibly manage if i've looked after them for a decade, but not at first interaction

 

 

*sigh!*

 

or even better, though thankfully rarer nowdays " i usually go the the bulk bill doctor for the simple stuff (where anything done will be unknown to me, including medications / investigations / other issues), but when it's complicated i know you can sort it out" (in 15 minutes, with no back story,  because i don't like paying for your care being used to b*b* arrangements)

 

*sigh, again*

 

the equivalent of being a devere ham versus a woolworths' one i guess

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Well, speaking of being busy...............most of my stuff is completed the same day or better..................I had one job this week (Monday) that I didn't complete until Wednesday.

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18 hours ago, @~thehung said:

i know you cant afford to go scorched earth on your customers.   "No meat for you!  Next!"  but i think i would *try* to respond in proportion to the level of rudeness.  never matching it!  but theres often a way to rebuke someone with enough subtlety to skirt the line of going too far.  the trick is to make people feel stupid while maintaining plausible deniability that you did it on purpose LOL.  not easy to think of the perfect thing to say in the moment though.  but i imagine you have a set of canned responses.

 

what do you say to this?

 

depends on the tone they used i guess.  it could be a genuine, if naive/silly question.  conversely, it could be a muppet looking to vent their fiscal frustrations on you.

 

no good moaning about the monopolistic powers of the big two over the little guy imo. better off making it about them.  quality and convenience: "Well, you're hear now.  It's up to you whether or not the price difference is more than the time and effort it will cost you to go to Woollies for a poorer quality ham".  <-- said with zero trace of smartarsery.  a kindly good humoured tone is mandatory. 

Ok this is a simple one - we simply state our hams are not mass produced in a massive factory, they are all carefully hand made with locally grown (and when I say locally I mean with 45km of our town) and on top of that there are no fillers, meat glue or other shit that is often put into hams to bulk them up.

Quote

 

 

is this a service that you offer?  probably not.  who knows what contamination that would invite.  could you charge through the nose for it?

 

No we don't - besides which its against Health Dept regulations

Quote

 

the fuck is this about?  tell me its not people who want you to prep 40 hamburger patties for their backyard BBQ. 

 

Don't know, don't care lol

Quote

 

"I've got a better idea.  Why don't I give you this bag of meat, and you can fuck off somewhere to buy yourself a set of scales and some freezer bags."  okay...not an option.

 

Just lazy bastards lol.  A simple phone call the day before would have fixed any delay in having their meat sorted and preventing tying up one of us for half a bloody hour for something that could have been easily rectified with a phone call.

 

Quote

 

seriously?  given their response, i think you can afford to be a little rude to this person.  but most likely theyve thrown a fuck you your way and just walked off.  chase them down with a cleaver?  okay...not an option.

 

Hahaha it's very rare that we open on a Sunday anyway.  I've actually had a regular customer chastise the person in question for suggesting such a thing lol.  I think I may have once suggested that they come in to help me run the store on Christmas Day and was met with a "LIKE HELL... I want to spend the day with my family" and yeah... he saw the look I gave.....

Quote

"Sure we can.  We offer full table service, a live band, a jumping castle for the kids, and the ghost of Heath Ledger will also be there offering complimentary sexual favours to all the adult guests."  okay...not an option.

 

 

 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

This is simply a no brainer - I give them THAT look and point to the photo of my grandkids on the wall.   

 

As I said above somewhere - it's generally only a very small percentage.  For the most part people are kind, understanding and don't ask stupid questions... just those few thoughtless bastards that spoil it for the rest of us.

Edited by DEVERE
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Its not like xmas is a surprise.. Same day, every year.  BUT you still get the Numpties that expect we retail people to bend over and cop a verbal shafting because they have left everything to the 24th and its everyone elses responsibility to sort out their stupidity.

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6 hours ago, hulkster said:

 

Its not like xmas is a surprise.. Same day, every year.  BUT you still get the Numpties that expect we retail people to bend over and cop a verbal shafting because they have left everything to the 24th and its everyone elses responsibility to sort out their stupidity.

 

 

 So true.... actually just had a conversation regarding Christmas turkey .... I started with "they're all a #50 ie within the 5kg region" and the customer comes back with "But I want a 2.5kg one" ok - if I bone it out and roll it, then it will be closer to 3kg No I don't want it boned out ok - perhaps half a bird? No I definitely need a full bird (getting frustrated at this point) do you definitely need turkey?  Our whole chickens are 2 - 2.5kg No - its got to be turkey hmmm well I can't get any more birds in - we have to pre-order by mid november as stock sells out so quickly - are you sure you can't take a full 5kg bird? 5kg is too big well perhaps you could try the IGA across the road, Ron is a great bloke and could possibly help you out. I don't like supermarket turkeys (there's a win for butchers) you know they source their Turkey from the same poultry farm as we do? At least go and have a chat and see what we can do between us all.

 

 

*sigh*

Edited by DEVERE
Spellink

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3 hours ago, DEVERE said:

As I said above somewhere - it's generally only a very small percentage.  For the most part people are kind, understanding and don't ask stupid questions... just those few thoughtless bastards that spoil it for the rest of us.

 

and true arseholes are even rarer.  most are reasonably nice people under extreme stress.  staying mindful of that can be little consolation though when its one after another. 

 

3 hours ago, DEVERE said:

Hahaha it's very rare that we open on a Sunday anyway.  I've actually had a regular customer chastise the person in question for suggesting such a thing lol.  I think I may have once suggested that they come in to help me run the store on Christmas Day and was met with a "LIKE HELL... I want to spend the day with my family" and yeah... he saw the look I gave.....

3 hours ago, DEVERE said:

 

This is simply a no brainer - I give them THAT look and point to the photo of my grandkids on the wall.  

 

perfect 🙂.  i love that moment when the penny drops. 

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